Farewell Conan

Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show aired its final episode last night. NBC can now continue to circle the drain.

Conan had been on fire since NBC told him to take a hike so Leno could bomb in his old time slot. The last two weeks when it had been clear he wasn't going to be on long have produced comedy gold. The masturbating bear had returned, the Tonight Show itself was put up for sale on eBay, and Conan sang the closing credits among other things.

What NBC actually hopes to accomplish with this move is unclear. Paying Conan $40 million to go work for someone else so you can bring a guy who washed out in primetime back at the same time you're hemorrhaging money (they stand to lose $200 million on the Winter Olympics alone) doesn't seem like good business to me. Beyond that, while you'll get the five hardcore Leno fans in Fargo back, but you've probably lost an entire generation of fans loyal to Conan who will never forgive the network for their treatment of O'Brien.

Conan will land on his feet, but we won't be seeing him on air for seven months. I look forward to his new show this fall which will likely be on Fox.

Governor X's Top Movies of 2009

2009 was a hit and miss year at the theater. For once I'm glad I'm not an Oscar voter because while I liked a lot of the movies that came out, I wouldn't really put any of them on par with masterpieces like No Country for Old Men or Slumdog Millionaire. That said, there were certainly enough entertaining offerings this year to cobble together a top 15:


15. Bruno
Bruno isn't nearly as funny as Borat, but it still got a few laughs out of me. Perhaps more importantly, it outraged all the right people. Check out the deleted interview with the neo-nazi leader on the DVD.

14. Jennifer's Body
I'm not sure Jennifer's Body should be on a list of good movies, since I can't really say it was good, but I enjoyed it. Just meditate on the plot for a minute: Megan Fox plays the hot girl at Devil's Kettle High School who is turned into a flesh eating succubus in a botched sacrifice attempt by Seth Cohen of The OC. I would also like to thank this movie for introducing me to the phrase "freaktarded".

13. Sin Nombre
Sin Nombre tells the story of how the lives of a Central American immigrant and an MS13 gang member intersect in Mexico. The movie's real power is in showing the heartbreaking conditions people seeking to enter the United States are subjected to. Bigots and Minute Men needn't waste their time.

12. Sherlock Holmes
This looked weird and I'm not a big fan of Robert Downey Jr. I realize he's a bit of a coke head in real life, but he doesn't always have to act coked up on the big screen. Holmes is riddled with plot holes and has a ridiculous story line, but it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable film. Look for Sherlock Holmes 2 if it does well (and maybe even if it doesn't) since they've clearly set up a sequel.

11. Rudo y Cursi
I'm a huge fan of Mexican soccer and I can easily say this is the best film about Mexican soccer I've ever seen. Its also the only one I've seen, but that isn't the point. This story about the rise and fall of two brothers is engaging and funny enough to forgive the predictable ending. All sports movies are fairly predictable though since there are only two outcomes: the hero can win or lose the big game.

10. Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Activity was what 99.9% of horror movies aren't: scary. Love it or hate it, everyone agrees that Micah is a huge douche who got what was coming to him.

9. Star Trek
I was nervous when I heard they were "rebooting" the Star Trek franchise. The original series characters have been around for 40+ years, so this had the potential to be a disaster. I'm pleased to say not only wasn't it a disaster, its a fantastic Star Trek movie. The people in charge of casting did a great job picking actors who could convey the essence of the character without doing a Shatner or Nimoy impression. Uhura has never looked better.

8. Taken
Taken is a classic revenge movie with Liam Neeson taking on the Charles Bronson role. His daughter is kidnapped in Paris and he sets out to find her and make the kidnappers pay. Man do they pay...

7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Wolverine isn't the most interesting X-Men character but his origin story made for a solid installment in the series. I actually like him quite a bit more now. I really hope we see an X-Men Origins: Magneto someday.

6. Angels & Demons
Dan Brown isn't a particularly good writer. I knew exactly where The DaVinci Code was going about an hour and a half before it finally went there. He manages to redeem himself somewhat with Angels & Demons. There isn't much substance here, but like some of the other movies on this list I can't discount pure entertainment. Ewan McGregor as a priest will give Catholic girls (and some boys) impure thoughts for years to come.

5. The Road
The Road is good in that it stays mostly true to the book. Of course, that means its two of the most depressing hours you'll ever spend at the movies. Don't be surprised if Viggo Mortensen gets an Oscar nomination for his role as "The Man".

4. District 9
District 9 is one of the most unique sci-fi movies out there. The aliens have come to earth, but they're ill and their broken spaceship takes residence over Johannesburg. The South Africans take them in, but cluster them in a ghetto. Nice of them eh? The film is action packed and actually allows the viewer to form a real emotional connection with the hideous aliens nicknamed "prawns".

3. (500) Days of Summer
One of these little indie movies comes out every year and catches fire with critics and audiences. (500) Days of Summer is even better than some of the others in recent years like Juno and Little Miss Sunshine. Every man can relate to Tom who falls in love with Summer because we've all known that bitch in real life.

2. Avatar
This movie is actually depressing people because they can't be Na'vi and live on Pandora. I liked it and wouldn't mind being tall, perpetually fit, and able to commune with nature like the Na'vi, but it really is just a movie. Its also an incredible technical achievement though, which is good because there are enough clichés in here to fill the Grand Canyon. As I write this, Avatar has made $1.4 billion dollars worldwide.

1. Knowing
Knowing is the movie Nic Cage has been working toward his entire career. Cage plays Dr. John Koestler, an MIT Astrophysics professor, single dad, and atheist whose son comes into possession of a paper covered in numbers written by a crazy girl fifty years earlier and placed in a time capsule at the local elementary school. Upon closer inspection, Koestler notices the numbers correspond to a series of disasters during that fifty year time frame. It may sound a bit over the top, but the Cage man brings it home.

The whisper people are friggin creepy.

American Idol 2010...Oh Yes, Its Back

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, American Idol is back and Ellen Degeneres still sucks.

First, lets get the business out of the way. As you have no doubt heard, Simon Cowell is leaving the show after this year. So, no Paula, no Simon - is it still Idol? Probably not.

They kick off as they always do, with auditions. The auditions are the worst part of the show and to get things rolling, they have crazy muffin-top girl jumping around and killing Natasha Bedingfield. Hasn't this gotten old by now? Just cut to the people with some talent.

Tonight's guest judge is Victoria Beckham. I guess they're waiting until later to unveil the suck of Ellen. David's wife is more and more bizarre looking every time I see here. Tonight she appears to be made of wax. This is known as "The Schwarzenegger".

Back to Ellen for a minute. I still don't understand what she brings to the table. She's not funny and knows nothing about music. Since they were going for someone outside of the music industry, they should have picked Sir Charles Barkley. Hearing him rip into contestants would be pure entertainment.

These auditions are just terrible. I'm about 40 minutes in right now and I don't think I can stomach much more. Its probably time for video games...

NBC is a disaster

I've never found Jay Leno remotely funny, so the fact that his show has completely bombed at 10pm is no surprise to me. I do find it surprising, and disheartening, that their response seems to be returning him to the coveted 11:30pm time slot. The obvious problem with that being Conan O'Brien is already there.

Conan is great and his version of The Tonight Show has renewed my faith in late night TV that had been shaky since Letterman's show became a New York ass-kissing fest about a decade ago.

Conan has apparently been given the option of being bumped to 12pm or leaving the network entirely. Either way, they'll owe him a boatload of money because they are violating his contract. If I were him, I'd take the money and run. Don't you think Fox would love to get their hands on someone that can actually compete with the big boys of late night?

What is it with NBC and Leno? When Carson retired, they screwed Letterman out of the job they had promised him in favor of The Chin and now they're seriously considering taking the same job away from someone who already has it for that no talent hack. Sure, you'll get the hardcore Leno fans in Fargo back, but you'll lose the younger Conan demographic for good.

Count me on Team Conan.

Cold Weather Sucks

I've never been a fan of cold weather and living in California has generally spared me from the worst of it. Basically, below 65 I start to get a chill and wish for warmer weather.

Recently I visited Chicago. As you may have guessed, it was a bit colder there than in good old SoCal. Temperatures generally hovered in the 15-20 range. Its a real pain in the ass because you can't just step outside. Putting on shoes and a coat every time you leave the house grows old really fast.

The coldest night was Saturday the 2nd. We visited the Sears Tower and opted to go at night to see the city lights. It was positively frigid. As you can see in this photo, it was all of five degrees Fahrenheit outside. To top it off, there was a stiff wind. Later, as we were eating, I overheard the weatherman saying wind chills were between 10 and 20 below zero.

I wasn't unprepared. I knew it was going to be near zero, so I had on two shirts, a sweater, a coat, a scarf, a beanie, gloves, two pairs of socks and insulated shoes. The part of me that was covered was warm enough with all that on, but the small exposed area on my face near my eyes was not. The cold actually hurt my skin. It wasn't just because I'm not used to it either. The Chicago peeps I was with were just as miserable.

Oh Chicago...you're an awesome city. Why must your weather suck so hard?