Monday, December 21, 2009

Governor X's Top Albums of 2009

In my past life as a contributor to another blog, we all looked forward to the end of the year so we could share our top albums and movies of the year. I've decided to keep the tradition going here at Skynet, but given our laissez-faire attitude towards topics and workload, I'm leaving it up to the individual writers to share their lists if they choose. They can have it their way, like Burger King, but with less saturated fat.

I'm starting off by doing the top albums of 2009. It was a good year for music, so I've opted for a top 15. Ten is so confining anyway...

15. Chris Cornell - Scream
Chris Cornell could not have broken from his rock roots more than he did with Scream. Scream is Timbaland produced pop. Yes, really. Surprisingly enough its pretty good. Its something everyone must hear for themselves.

Download - Never Far Away

14. Muse - The Resistance
I liked this a lot more when it came out than I do now. Its creative and big, but after multiple listens I just don't feel it lives up to the praise I gave it earlier this year. Still, there's enough good here to recommend it.

Download - Resistance

13. U2 - No Line on the Horizon
I've warmed to this CD substantially since I declared U2 dead following its release, but its a sub par offering from a band this good. U2 phoning it in is still better than most bands at their best though, so it made the list.

Download - Magnificent

12. Kelly Clarkson - All I Ever Wanted
If you're looking for mindless Top 40 without the attitude of a Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson is always a safe bet. All I Ever Wanted is sugary enough to rot your teeth at times, but its a solid CD full of catchy beats that can get stuck in your head for days.

Download - All I Ever Wanted

11. Julian Casablancas - Phrazes for the Young
I'm never really sure why artists put out a solo project that sounds exactly like their band. Phrazes for the Young sounds like it could be the 4th Strokes album. I love The Strokes, so that's perfectly fine by me. Casablancas did serve up a pretty mean version of that asinine SNL I Wish it Was Christmas Today song on Jimmy Fallon's show last night. I normally wouldn't have Fallon on, but Craig Ferguson had an opera singer as his musical guest. No thanks.

Download - Out of the Blue

10. 30 Seconds to Mars - This is War
Someone needs to tell Jared Leto he doesn't have to try so hard. 30 Seconds to Mars is a good rock band and doesn't need to get passed the fact that they have an actor for a singer. They're already passed that on talent alone. This is War is ridiculously over the top at times, and the 12 year old in me wants to giggle when they scream "WE ARE THE QUEENS" in Kings and Queens, but at the end of it all I find I really like the CD.

Download - Night of the Hunter

9. Stereophonics - Keep Calm and Carry On
This is hardly the best thing the Stereophonics have ever put out, but after multiple listens, its a pretty solid if slightly unimaginative CD. Sometimes its OK to just stick with what works.

Download - I Got Your Number

8. Weezer - Raditude
Every other Weezer album is good and its that time in the cycle. Weezer is just here to play good music and have a good time. Its a pleasant change from some other bands (including many I like) who think they're going to change the world. Be sure to pick up your Weezer Snuggie.

Download - Can't Stop Partying (featuring Lil Wayne)

7. Adam Lambert - For Your Entertainment
Adam Lambert was pretty much a disaster from beginning to end on American Idol, but his first solo album is exceptionally good for a pop CD. His wailing is impressive when he isn't using it to slaughter innocent Johnny Cash tunes. For Your Entertainment is basically the cotton candy of music, its delicious but has no substance or nutritional value. When that's precisely what you're looking for though, it delivers as well as anything.

Download - If I Had You

6. Tokio Hotel - Humanoid
Ich liebe Tokio Hotel and I don't care what you have to say about that. Its oddly liberating to have the musical taste of a German teenager. This is the second year in a row they've made my top ten.

Download - World Behind My Wall

5. AFI - Crash Love
I didn't like this initially, but I honestly can't tell you why. I love it now. Its more Sing the Sorrow than Decemberunderground and they are unrecognizable without ten pounds of makeup, but its one of the better straight up rock albums of 2009.

Download - End Transmission

4. Black Eyed Peas - The E.N.D.
The E.N.D. (Energy Never Dies) is just fun dance pop from beginning to end. There isn't much else to say here.

Download - I Got a Feeling

3. Placebo - Battle for the Sun
I'm pretty livid at these guys for not rescheduling their North American tour yet even as they add more and more European dates, but they're still one of my favorite bands and Battle for the Sun is one of their better albums. Its a good starter CD if you aren't familiar with their work.

Download - For What It's Worth

2. Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown
Fifteen years ago, Green Day was singing about masturbation. Today they're singing about the American state of mind. Who saw that coming? Berkeley's finest captured the angst and anger of a nation disgusted with George W. Bush and his agenda on American Idiot, and have done it again with 21st Century Breakdown which is perfectly in tune with the exhaustion and "what now?" feeling of America in 2009.

Download - Peacemaker

1. The Used - Artwork
I've been a fan of The Used since they hit the scene in 2002, but there was always something lacking on their albums. They were more hit than miss, but never really tied it all together. Artwork is their first complete album and somewhat surprisingly, my favorite album of 2009. Never underestimate the power of raw rock.

Download - Born to Quit

Avatar 3D is Impressive

The story is pretty familiar. Aliens have harvested all of the resources on their own planet, so they go around the galaxy pillaging others. The difference this time? Humans are the aggressors and the Na'vi are the victims, fighting to protect their beautiful and lush world of Pandora.

That's the basic premise of James Cameron's Avatar. Story wise, its pretty standard sci-fi fare, with a serious pro-environment message. What really sets this movie apart are the state of the art visuals used to produce it.

The last time I dared to see a 3D movie, I was a little kid and was handed these crappy paper "glasses" with cellophane red and blue lenses. Not surprisingly, the color of the movie was distorted by the glasses. I don't even remember if the 3D was worth a damn because the overall visual impact was so negative.

They've improved 3D quite a bit. The paper/cellophane glasses are gone, replaced by something that looks like Rivers Cuomo would wear. They're made like real glasses, so you can wear them comfortably. Once the movie starts, the visuals blow you away. Images really seem to leap off the screen and Cameron wisely doesn't force the issue. When it seems like something should be approaching the audience, it does. When it doesn't make sense to do that, he doesn't do it. We're left with a beautifully filmed movie with cutting edge technology that will leave you in awe the entire time you're in the theater.

As for the movie itself, its good, but not without its flaws. Some of the characters seem a little cartoonish (Giovani Ribisi, I'm looking in your direction) and under developed. The environmental message is very strong, but since I agree with what it had to say, I didn't mind. I imagine the outrage mongers on the right are having their usual conniption fit over it though. Fortunately, I don't know if anyone bothers to listen to them anymore.

Avatar must be seen in the theater and in 3D to fully appreciate it. Skynet recommends you hit up the local cinema while you can.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Real Athlete of the Decade

Today, the AP named Tiger Woods the Athlete of the Decade.

I respectfully disagree.

It has nothing to do with his recent troubles either. I really don't care about that and honestly find it a bit amusing that people think it will significantly impact his career. The middle aged guy Buick is targeting with their Tiger ads isn't going to bail on the mediocre automaker because Tiger has a couple dozen girlfriends on the side. If Middle Aged Buick Customer isn't cheating on his wife already, he probably wants to, so I just don't see them being offended.

My issue with Tiger is that he's a golfer. I'm not going the low brow route of saying golf isn't a sport, but lets keep things in perspective: its not a particularly athletic sport. I wouldn't name a baseball player "athlete of the decade" either. Most of the time, baseball players are standing still. Pro golfers are actually a bit more active since they walk, but its still not the most athletic thing you can do.

No, the real Athlete of the Decade is Roger Federer. First, tennis is a very athletic sport. Second, Federer destroys everyone in that sport. Fifteen grand slam titles, 237 consecutive weeks ranked #1 in the world, and this year, a victory in what is probably the most epic tennis match in grand slam history.

Roger Federer is the best tennis player ever and the inaugural Skynet: California Athlete of the Decade. Congrats sir.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Day the Earth Stood Still Sucked

I just finished watching The Day the Earth Stood Still, a remake of the classic from 1951, and was completely taken aback by the film's lameness. I wasted two hours watching the movie, so I figured why not spend another six writing about how horrible it was. The movie was written by David Scarpa, the writer of The Last Castle, and directed by Scott Derrickson, the director of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Despite the great special effects, acceptable acting and decent character development, the storyline of this movie was retarded and could have been easily reworked into something more interesting, more realistic and more edifying.


Plot Synopsis

Dr. Helen Benson, an astrobiologist played by Jennifer Connelly, is whisked out of her house by the US government as she prepares dinner for her step-son, played by Jaden Smith. She is shoved into a truck with about a dozen other scientists and engineers and driven to a military installation where she is told that an unidentified object rocketing through space at 1/10th of the speed of light is scheduled to collide with Manhattan in 78 minutes.

As doomsday arrives, everyone is surprised to find out that the object is slowing down and landing in Central Park. It turns out that the unidentified object is an alien spacecraft carrying an ambassador named Klaatu, played by Keanu Reeves, who tries to warn humans about their reckless destruction of the environment and his duty to save the Earth at all costs. Klaatu is protected by a giant robot named Gort who can manipulate electronics, is nearly indestructible and is made of metallic locusts. Klaatu's diplomatic mission is botched early on by a trigger-happy soldier and a ridiculous Secretary of Defense, which puts him on the run from the US government with the help of Dr. Benson for most of the movie.

Dr. Benson, her son, and Klaatu try to find someone who can help Klaatu and save the human race, introducing him to a Nobel Laureate played by John Cleese along the way. Throughout the movie, Dr. Benson begs Klaatu to spare the human race, claiming that we can change and that environmental destruction isn't inevitable. Dr. Benson's troubled relationship with her disrespectful and unhappy stepson is a subplot revisited throughout the film. While trying to reach a UN meeting where he can explain his case to the world's leaders, Klaatu has a covert meeting with an alien spy in the form of an old Chinese American man who has lived on Earth for seventy years. The spy communicates to Klaatu that despite the fact that human beings know they are destroying the Earth, they are unrepentant and unable to stop themselves. They are, in short, irredeemable. The only way to save the rest of the species on Earth is to annihilate them.

Meanwhile, the US military is trying to pick apart and destroy Gort, who releases a plague of metallic, metallovorous locusts upon the Earth. These locusts then roll through the US, devouring everything man-made in their way. In an attempt to save the world's animals from the locusts, scintillating orbs spread across the planet begin storing the fauna of the world in the fashion of Noah. Complete disaster is averted when Klaatu, after watching Dr. Benson and her step-son share a heartfelt moment in which the two reconcile, decides to spare the human race. We may be destructive and brutish, but we are at least empathetic and have the capacity to change. He commands the locusts to stop before they reach a major city, but before leaving, disables all of our electronics.

Criticisms of the Government

So what are we to make of all this? First off, I had a lot of problems with way that the government operated in the movie. Overall, the series of events that occurred after Klaatu's landing were ridiculous. Why would the government choose the scientists that could best analyze the problem and use them as the first ones to approach the spacecraft? Wouldn't you want to keep these people from direct contact with the aliens until after you knew whether they were aggressive or peaceful? Additionally, who would fire on an alien as it reached out to greet Dr. Benson? No trained soldier would do that and the whole situation seemed contrived. Immediately after Klaatu's shooting, Gort, a colossal, cyclopean robot, comes to his defense. Of course, why would Gort be a cyclops, and not something more useful and maneuverable, like a giant wasp or spider? Because they are selling this movie to people who are fans of the original movie and who want to see a giant humanoid robot, just like in the original, even though we have the special effects to create something much cooler now.

After Klaatu in his larval form is wounded, he is rushed to the hospital, where a doctor operates on him in an attempt to remove the bullet. He is surprised to find out that Klaatu's physiology is human, and that his blubbery cocoon is falling off his body. During Klaatu's surgery, one of the scientists remarks that the biologists of the world will be studying the cocoon for decades. Of course, the wicked Secretary of Defense played by Kathy Bates claims that nobody will see the cocoon, since it is the property of the US government and is highly classified. However, the Secretary allows Dr. Benson to take a sliver of the cocoon home with her for some unexplainable reason.


Once Klaatu wakes up and finds that he has fully realized his human form, he is transported to an "interrogation room", where he is subjected to a lie detector. I found this part of the movie totally ridiculous. Klaatu is put into a room with only his interrogator and is asked a series of questions. If you had an alien in your midst and you were concerned about his species attacking the Earth, why would you use a lie detector? He's an alien; why would the government expect a lie detector to work on him? The interrogator begins by asking Klaatu "control questions", one of which questions his knowledge of an invasion of Earth. A control question is something that both the operator and the subject know is either true or false that allows the operator to record base metabolic ratings, so that they can be compared later with readings from other questions to see if the subject is lying. If you ask a question whose answer you don't know, you defeat the whole purpose of asking the control questions. Nobody on the set knew about this or said anything? I find that hard to believe. Doing a proper lie detector scene would not have taken much longer and would have been more believable. Despite this, the far more unexplainable part of this scene is that there are absolutely no other observers of Klaatu while he is being questioned. Why would nobody else in the building be watching an E.T. be questioned, if for no other reason than curiousity, let alone for security or analysis? This situation made Klaatu's escape far too easy and made the plot less interesting.

After Klaatu's surgery, Dr. Benson and most likely the other scientists are sent home with no security. For an event of this magnitude, why would the government let the scientists go home? I feel like the security at a defense company like Raytheon is tighter than that used by the government in the film.

Overall, the response by the government was strange, bumbling and Busheque. The whole encounter was run as well as the response to Hurricane Katrina. Replace the Secretary of Defense with the Vice President, and then the fictional government really resembles the Bush Administration. The President never appeared in the movie, and the Secretary of Defense ran all of the operations. On the other hand, if the President in the movie was anything like President Bush, then it's probably best that he didn't intervene.

Criticism of the Aliens

So the government was ridiculous in the movie, but one could argue that the government was supposed to look ridiculous, as the movie parodied the real US government. However, the aliens, beings from another planet who are far more advanced than us, were almost as ridiculous as the government they met on Earth. The aliens were portrayed as a technologically and morally advanced society, but their actions say otherwise.

Alien Plan

The aliens' plan for Earth was unethical and riddled with errors. Here is the overall alien plan:
  1. Observe Earth for thousands or millions of years.
  2. Put spheres which will hold all of Earth's animals in diverse ecosystems in order to transport all the animals off of the Earth in the event of a catastrophe.
  3. In the event that the Earth is threatened, save all the animals by moving them in the orbs.
The aliens have observed that humans are destroying the planet, so here is are their tactics:

  1. Send a spy to Earth to keep tabs on the locals.
  2. After situation gets worse, send ambassador to explain the situation to the humans.
  3. Have humans transport him to an upcoming UN meeting to explain the Earth's predicament and the aliens' ultimatum.
  4. If humans do not obey the ultimatum, kill them all.
  • Earth's Predicament: Human beings are destroying the Earth. Planets capable of sustaining complex life are rare, so preservation of the Earth is a high priority.
  • Aliens' Ultimatum: If you do not stop destroying the Earth and do not start acting responsibly, we will kill all of you and destroy every trace of your civilization.
Criticism of the Alien Plan

The Alien Plan was ill-conceived and its purposes questionable. The whole reason that the aliens thought Earth was so special is because of its ability to sustain complex life forms. However, they ignore the fact that even though our ecosystem is fragile, life on Earth is resilient. Even if we destroyed all the complex life forms on Earth, complex life would evolve again after millions of years. The chances of humans destroying Earth's capability to sustain complex life forms is minuscule.

The Alien Plan didn't value human life correctly. If the presence of complex life is so rare in the universe, then the presence of intelligent life and civilization is even more rare. Humans are, as E.O. Wilson said, "the crown jewel of the animal kingdom". If the aliens want to save the Earth's creatures, they must save us too. If the aliens are so keen on saving complex life, shouldn't they be keen on keeping intelligent life around as well? The aliens' goal is to preserve all animals except for humans, but aren't the aliens wasting the evolutionary work of creating intelligent life when they could just reason with us or perhaps in the worst case occupy us for a while? Occupying the Earth isn't exactly a moral alternative but it's better than killing everyone. Extermination seems like a last ditch effort, when they did not try all of the intermediary plans. Additionally, we have the right to life, which the aliens are violating. Saving the Earth does not justify the extermination of the human race. Furthermore, the destruction of the Earth is being brought on mostly by the industrialized countries. Why punish everyone when hunter-gatherers of the world are still living sustainably?

The aliens' motives were mysterious. Why are the aliens trying to save the Earth anyways? Do they just find complex life valuable for scientific purposes or believe it has an inherent right to exist? Or do they want to save the Earth as a potential colony in case they need to move in? That may actually explain their willingness to exterminate us. In that case, they are no better us, since they are not acting out of any higher purpose but only their own selfish ends.

Criticism of the Execution of the Alien Plan

The Aliens' plan was poorly thought out and morally ambiguous, but the execution was even worse. If the aliens already had a spy on Earth for 70 years who knew we were irrational, why would they attempt a plan like this? Additionally, why send a giant, intimidating spacecraft to Central Park, when they could just land somewhere more inconspicuous in a smaller vessel and go to the UN meeting from there. The aliens obviously have a good handle on electronics, so communicating with the world's leaders would not be a problem.

Instead of going directly to the UN Meeting, which was presumably in New York, the alien ambassador gets into huge rigamarole with the US government and ends up not communicating the Earth's predicament or his ultimatum to more than a few people. Is there nobody else but Gort who can support him? Klaatu's civilization only sent him to represent all of the alien civilizations? This seems like a plan that was destined to fail.

After Klaatu stops the invasion of the metallic locusts, he decides to disable all of the electronics in the world. This seems strange, as we could repair our old electronic devices or just build new ones. This would not stop the destruction of the Earth by itself. Disabling the planet's electronics only seems like an act of malice by Klaatu after his ill treatment by humans. This punishes everyone on Earth, whereas the US was the only country who had direct contact with Klaatu and who botched his "diplomatic" mission? Additionally, even a different Secretary of Defense or President would have saved him a lot of hassle. Why not just reprimand them?

The alien plan suffered from Manichean thinking which resembled that of the Secretary of Defense. Either earthlings could be reasoned with or they had to be destroyed. There was no middle ground. Similary, in the Secretary of Defense's view, the aliens were an evil force that was trying to destroy us. However, the Secretary didn't think that the aliens perhaps had another motive and that a more diplomatic posture would have been more suitable. In the end, the aliens should have considered more intermediate steps such as occupation or multiple warnings. Many warnings over time would have been more effective than just one warning, which wasn't even delivered to the UN. Furthermore, extermination of the human race should never have even been an option.

Overall Criticism of the Movie

The Good

Although there were many problems with the movie, there were some bright spots. Even though the government's incompetence was vastly overstated, the movie did provide a good criticism of an aggressive, paranoid government. Most people who watch this movie should understand the message that diplomacy should be used before violence. This movie was also a call for environmental responsibility which is so lacking in the world today. Hopefully anyone who sees the movie will become more aware of the world's environmental problems. The main characters in the movie were also diverse. The two human characters in the movie with the most power are Dr. Benson and the Secretary of Defense, who are both women. Additionally, the Dr. Benson's son is black and she was involved in an interracial marriage. This promotes tolerance and civil justice for women and blacks.

The Bad

Although the movie had an environmental theme, this film put the environmentalist aliens in a bad light. Many people perceive environmentalists as people who will destroy their way of life if they don't respect the Spotted Owl or some other endangered animal. This movie just stokes their fears could perhaps make them less willing to listen to environmentalists. Aliens who respected human rights would have worked better for the environmentalist movement, especially since most environmentalists are concerned with human rights.

The Day the Earth Stood Still would have better served the environmentalist cause if the film had given some concrete examples of environmental problems on the earth and what we can do to stop them. There are a multitude of environmental problems, including extinction of species, water shortages, air pollution, water pollution, global warming and soil erosion. A deep look into some of these problems would have perhaps slowed down the pace of the movie, but just a few quick shots of refugees or oil spills would have put more focus on the environment. This might have made the movie more moralizing and boring, but the movie was already moralizing to begin with.

Conclusion

Although this movie was not a complete waste of time, it could have been much better. Some of the best movies ever made are Science Fiction, and this genre can be quite rewarding. However, instead of being Terminator II or Bladerunner, this movie conked out in terms of realism. Many small details were overlooked and the plot could have been much better. In the end, the makers of The Day the Earth Stood Still decided to try to stick more to the storyline of the original movie rather than just create a good movie.

Rating: 5/10

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Imus in the Middle of the Night

I've always been an unapologetic Don Imus fan and lately I've been catching his simulcast on Fox "Going Out of" Business Channel since I can no longer fall asleep before 3:30 AM. Imus in the Morning may be the correct title, but since its off the air in California before the sun comes up, I feel Imus in the Middle of the Night is more accurate.

It wasn't that long ago that the I-Man was run off the air by the PC police. His crew used an unfortunate phrase to describe the Rutgers women's basketball team and the usual suspects got up in arms and convinced MSNBC to take his show off the air in spite of Imus' repeated apologies and public contrition. As you may have guessed, the unfortunate phrase was so offensive the media spent the next month repeating it. I will not.

Anyway, fast forward to this October and Imus is once again on TV, albeit the dreadful Fox Business Channel. The core of the show is still classic Imus. Insults, blanket judgments on various groups of people, and bizarre obsessions with obscure writers, backbench politicians and country singers. Its great to have something to laugh at around 3 AM again (the rerun of Fallon's awful show can hardly be called comedy).

The Fox connection can't be swept under the rug though. The show's cast seems obligated to suck up to Fox talking heads like Cavuto and Hannity and the incessant "Fox Business Updates" grow tiresome really quickly. Hopefully the sucking up to Fox dies down a bit after they've been around awhile, but in the meantime its just good to have the crotchety old cowboy back on the air.

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