Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Re: blogged out

We are not in (Ar)Kansas anymore...

Been awhile . . . somebody needs to air this room OUT a bit. It smells like old cheese ...

So Gov X and I continue our condiment summits and occasional exchanges of political nonsensery. Few haikus have been composed in the last year, and even fewer episodes of American Idol were watched. Since last I posted in here, I got married. Hurray, right? Damn right, hurray. It was about time, too. I was ready to buy a metal detector and start hanging out in San Clemente like a zombiefied version of Dick Nixon.

Smile - your crappy photo has been filtered and thus has aesthetic merit -------->

E-Book Lernin'...

What have I learned since then? Among many things, that BlueNapkins out Instagrams me; that GovX never ages (he's a Stepford creature); that I still haven't met Lewinstein or Ben from this blog site; that the Dodgers still cannot win a World Series. Yet, what I really learned, however, was that I did not make blogging here - or anywhere - a priority. And that is a bit pathetic. I love writing, so you might think I would blog my hands off, until my fingers were fused to the keyboard. I am online all day - so where the hell is my great American Blogvel?!

This thing called blogging - which, in case such etymological nonsense matters to you - is known in the linguistic world to be a portmanteau. Rather than the meaning which refers to a large suitcase, this type refers to a word which amalgamates two other words to form one new one. Smoke and fog became FOG (1884), while lions mated with tigers - by some sort of freakish Boy from Brazil meets Jack Hanna process, no doubt - are called ligers. I learned that Wikipedia is a portmanteau of wiki and encyclopedia. Then, of course, I had to Google 'wiki', which I have done now about 75 times over the years. I know it is a Hawaiian word, and I always think it means small, but then I always look it up and realize it means fast or quick. Ironic that such a simple, common word can be so easily forgotten, yet I recall the definition of verisimilitude and obfuscation for 30 years now without needing to crack a dictionary. Maybe the punitive pedagogy of my papally-infused education has something to do with that. Fear of detention or punishment always did bring out the more scholarly in me.

Where have all the good times gone, yo?

Blogging has become the new journalism. Newspapers are dying – so my blogs all say. I cannot find a columnist in the paper world who me makes run out and buy a newspaper at dawn, nor subscribe to one that I hope to see on my porch, not that anyone porches the papers that DO get delivered. Yet I read the scattered thoughts of a hundred users on a message board forum which I frequent every single day – and only one or two posters therein are actual journalists. Where are the modern age Mel Durslags? The new Nicholas Pileggis? Is Jimmy Cannon merely a memory, with nary a neo-acerbic New Yorker to take his place in the annals of sports reporting’s grand reverie?

PICTURED ABOVE: Jimmy Cannon, the 20th Century's foremost blogger, back when he was called a journalist. SI called him "tough and penetrating ... maudlin and manipulative." Today, I just call Sports Illustrated the People magazine of sports, and that is not including the swimsuit issue. Cannon would agree...

If my father were alive to see what has become of his beloved American English, this would kill him: my bad . . . true that …. LOL … u mad, bro? WTF ever happened to complete sentences? And what about Scarecrow’s brain?

Back to Life ...

So anyway ... I took a little time off, and it is nice to weigh in again, but this place STILL smells like cheese. Or maybe feet. Holy hell . . . it smells like cheese feet.

Fin

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

God, Give Me the WilPower

It was 1991; I was 13 years old, and I dreamed of exploring space, particularly exploring space holding the hand of dreamy, teen-heartthrob, Wil Wheaton. I took a break from writing bad poetry, listening to New Kids on the Block and fantasizing about the way futuristic spandex clung to sinewy, teenage glutes to write a letter to my favorite Star Trek character. Unfortunately, I can only vaguely imagine what said letter contained, as it was jettisoned into Wil's eagerly waiting mailbox twenty years ago.

Fast forward to last weekend: I was thumbing through one of my many Enterprise manuals for the sake of nostalgia with some friends when this amazing little envelope fell out into my lap.
Oh, man! The beloved response I had received from my darling Wesley, tucked away in a Star Trek book and forgotten for decades. Having long since grown up and moved on to more mature pastimes, such as fantasizing about Patrick Stewart, I was bemused and slightly embarrassed at this evidence of my teenage dorkliness. The room was alive with excitement as we pried the relic open to peer at the contents within.

First of all, there was this EPIC picture, complete with what is likely a photocopied signature on the back.


Though I fully appreciate the era-appropriate reference to Bill and Ted, I have to wonder whether the kid was getting paid to pimp Batman or if he was really just that big of a nerd. Given recent evidence on the interwebs, I'm leaning pro-nerd.

The real gem of the collection, however, was this terrible, grainy photocopy of an invitation to join the Wil Wheaton fanclub, boasting almost 1500 members world-wide!!


Now, the membership fee is $12.50 to join and $5 for each following year. I don't see a time limit on this document, so I wonder... if I fire this baby off to Wil's current address with my check for $12.50, what will I get in return? Will he send me whatever has laying around on his desk? Ignore me? Have a good laugh and just cash the check like a bastard, maybe apply it to his terrible sweater fund?

What's a smartass girl to do?

Monday, May 30, 2011

My god Bones, what have I done...

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Where have you gone Edward Furlong?

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Upland Lemon Festival

So the Skynet crew briefly visited the Upland Lemon Festival today and left with a real sour taste in their mouths. This festival is a real lemon. For starters, there really aren't any lemons. There were food booths, terrible music, and several garish hat booths, but few lemons. One of the two lemonade stands we saw was Hot Dog on a Stick. The crowd wasn't much of a squeeze either. We had hoped we would love it so much, you couldn't peel us away, but it just left us puckered.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Self Aware? Really?

Apparently, Skynet achieved this state today.

Anyone being slain by their cyborg in your neighborhood? Seen any riderless motorcycles screaming down the highway?

Just asking ...

Fin



Above, Christian Bale trains hard for the sequel, American Terminator Psycho

Monday, April 4, 2011

Sparklecado Update: Stardate 64757.6

I should probably plant this thing soon.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Governor X's Top Movies of 2010

While 2010 was pretty bleak music wise, it was more than solid in terms of movies. When compiling this top 10, I had to cut quite a few. Onto the list:

10. Machete
Originally conceived as a joke trailer in between the two films that made up The Grindhouse (Planet Terror was classic, Deathproof was beyond awful), Machete was expanded into a full length feature film by director Robert Rodriguez. Its hilariously over the top action, absurd plot, hamhanded political message and Lindsey Lohan dressed as a nun all wrapped into one neat little package.

9. Predators
Predators is easily the best sequel in the series and the only one that can really hold a candle to the original. Don't get me wrong, I liked Alien vs Predator, but it's not going down in history as an action classic. So what's the deal here? Think original Predator, but set on another planet. Adrien Brody will cut you!

8. Harry Brown
Revenge movies and Michael Caine are awesome, so someone finally decided to combine the two. Caine plays an old man named Harry Brown oddly enough who lives in the British equivalent of the projects. When his friend is killed, Harry takes matters into his own hands.

7. Black Swan
Black Swan is a well made, well acted, and fascinating movie that isn't all that pleasant to watch. Sure, Natalie Portman's aggressive masturbation scene is alright by me, but her decent into madness so well done it leaves you feeling a bit off yourself. On a side note, Vincent Cassel has never been so perfectly cast as he is here as a sleazy European ballet troupe leader.

6. The Social Network
A movie about the founding of Facebook didn't sound all that interesting to me but it got such strong reviews I felt compelled to watch it. Its a good movie, but think it and Jesse Eisenberg's performance in particular are a little overrated.

5. Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Sooner or later, Michael Cera's schtick is going to get old. I thought we might be seeing that with Year One and Youth in Revolt. Then came Scott Pilgrim to prove me wrong. This is one of the most original movies I've seen in years. It's shot partly in the style of Nintendo video games as we follow Scott's attempt to defeat his new love interest's seven evil exes.

4. The King's Speech
I really wanted to hate this movie on principle. Before anyone saw it, it was getting Oscar buzz and it seemed like one of those movies that seemed to have no purpose for existing other than collecting gold statues. Try as I might, I couldn't hate it. In fact, I liked it. You know exactly where the story is going and some of the historical facts are handled a bit loosely, but it is an all around fine film.

3. Inception
Inception was good enough that I felt it lost something the second time around and it still made #3 on this list. Leonardo DiCaprio leads a team of people who go inside people's dreams.

2. True Grit
I'm not a huge John Wayne fan, but the original is one of his better films. Jeff Bridges manages to shake off The Dude for a couple hours to bring us a new version of Rooster Cogburn that manages to be better than the original. It isn't just Bridges either, the Coen's version of the 1969 classic is superior in nearly every way.

1. 127 Hours
I am admittedly a Danny Boyle fanboy, but his last couple of films have garnered him the professional accolades I always felt he deserved. A full 2/3rds of 127 Hours consists of a man with his arm stuck between a rock and a canyon wall. Even with that type of material, 127 Hours is never boring, never drags, and keeps you hanging on every second. It is one of the most unique and ultimately uplifting movies you will ever see.

Oooops...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Governor X's Top Albums of 2010 - Revised

2009 was a great year for music. In fact, it was so great I was able to put together a Top 15. No such luck this year. Even getting to 10 was a struggle, which you will see shortly. I blame the sorry state of radio. I can't bear to listen to it anymore, so I am exposed to very little in the way of new music. I'm essentially relegated to new releases from bands I already like.

Revision - When I initially wrote this, I had not heard Arcade Fire's The Suburbs. Neon Bible was OK, but it was essentially one long Pulp ripoff so I didn't bother to listen to the new one. Grammy glory changed my mind and I'm glad I did. Sorry Tron: Legacy Soundtrack...you've been chopped.

Biggest Disappointment: Black Eyed Peas - The Beginning
Fuck you Peas. I spend the better part of two years defending The E.N.D. and you repay me with this turd?


10. Serj Tankian - Imperfect Harmonies
I didn't even know this existed until I was scouring the 2010 album releases to refresh my memory. If you liked the first Serj Tankian solo CD, this is essentially more of the same.
Download Disowned Inc.

9. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
See my comments above
Download Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)

8. K's Choice - Echo Mountain
This can't really hold a candle to their work in their first go-around as a band, but it's solid and it's great to have them back together. Now tour the US bitches.
Download Come Live the Life

7. Bruno Mars - Doo Wops and Hooligans
I enjoy this now, but I can't see listening to it for years to come. Live in the moment or something.
Download Grenade

6. Jimmy Eat World - Invented
If you wanted something new from them this would probably disappoint you. They've settled into an almost Cake-like groove of releasing the same album over and over. Fortunately it's a pretty good album.
Download My Best Theory

5. Kylie Minogue - Aphrodite
Easily her best album ever and the best dance-pop album by anyone since before Madonna starting lifting weights.
Download Aphrodite

4. Brandon Flowers - Flamingo
Half of this CD is meh, but the other half is really fantastic. I could listen to Crossfire on an endless loop for 3 weeks and not get tired of it.
Download Crossfire

3. Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns
Linkin Park keeps getting better with every album they release. This effort may be a little pretentious for some, but it probably weeded out the last of the Rockstar drinking meathead fanboys who followed their early work.
Download The Catalyst

2. Stone Temple Pilots - Stone Temple Pilots
Try as I might, I can't find fault with this album. By all accounts Scott Weiland should be dead, the band hasn't released anything in nine years, and rock music is in decline - yet here it is. I love every track.
Download First Kiss on Mars

1. My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys
I don't hesitate to say My Chemical Romance has moved up to join the likes of R.E.M. and U2 on the list of my favorite bands. If you lose the interludes, their latest CD builds masterfully from catchy pop to hard punk.
Download Bulletproof Heart

Sparklecados: Day 325

A long time has passed since our last Sparklecado update and I'm not even sure the date is correct. It is 325 days since we planted Sparklecado 1, but that poor sucker has passed on. Our oldest Sparklecado, #3, was started on 7/19/2010 so it is 181 days old. Sparklecado #4 A New Hope was started on 8/23/2010 so it is 146 days old. Whatever. Since this blog is now updated with what scientists describe as "Ironside Frequency" it really doesn't matter. Day 325 sounds more impressive and that counts from the start of the Sparklecado project. Here is what we have:

Sparklecado #3 has made a lot of progress. It is the only Sparklecado thus far that has grown more than one root. As you can see it has taken on the form of one of the harvesters from The Matrix. You should fear it since it will likely grow so large it will harvest your organs. That or die when we try to transfer it to soil like its predecessors.

Sparklecado #4 - A New Hope is very much alive as well. Unfortunately it doesn't look like anything from the Matrix. It just looks like a plant. I'm pretty wary of transplanting Sparklecado #3 to the soil since the last one died so quickly. #4 is going to be the next one to go to the soil. God speed little plant, god speed.

Both have survived our harsh winter. We had almost three weeks of bad weather which is unheard of. Now that it is pleasant again, I expect big things from these plants. In related news, Eclipse may be the worst Twilight movie yet.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Why Democrats Lost the 2010 Midterm Election

The midterm elections of 2010 brought a wave of new politicians into power. The House of Representatives, which has held a large Democratic majority over the past 4 years, is now solidly Republican. Many writers on blogs and in news organizations have tried to analyze the election and formulate reasons for the election results and prescriptions for what the Democrats should do in the next two years to win back the House and retain power in the Senate and Presidency. This article is similar in that it will try to explain the reasons for the Democratic losses, recommend what the Democrats should do to regain the House in 2012, and look at the influences of Fox News and the Citizens United decision on the election. The first part of this article will discuss the reasons that the Democrats lost and what they should do in the next Congressional term, based on what polls say about American views on the budget deficit, health care, foreign policy, and income distribution. The second part will discuss whether liberals or conservatives were more important in the last election and examine the effects of Fox News and Citizens United.

On November 3rd, Frank Newport of Gallup posted an analysis of the 2010 midterm elections, citing many reasons which combined to form the "wave election" for Republicans. Newport states that there were various structural factors that affected the election. Historically, midterm elections favor the minority party. Additionally, the Democrats had a number of uncertain seats which they had picked up in the 2006 and 2008 elections and were not in reliably Democratic districts. Compounding these issues were the facts that Congress had low approval ratings and that most Americans are dissatisfied with "the way things are going" in the country. The last structural factor was that Americans had a negative perception of the economy. Besides structural factors, Newport also cites other reasons for the 2010 election results. The economy was definitely the top issue in this year's election, which, combined with the negative perception of the economy that most Americans held, did not bode well for the incumbent Democrats. Differences in belief about the role of the federal government were also important in this election cycle, with the Tea Party movement and Republicans advocating a reduced role. Many of the above factors created an enthusiasm gap which favored the Republicans and resulted in a high turnout of Republican voters. Furthermore, President Obama's job approval rating was below 50% at the time of the election, which also portended that his party would lose seats. Gallup's research is nonpartisan, supported by many polls, and goes quite far in explaining the results of the election. However, the question remains, what could the Democrats have done to mitigate these factors and what should they do in the next session of Congress?

Evan Bayh, a retiring Democratic Senator from Indiana, wrote an op-ed in the New York Times immediately after the election which argues that the Democrats have been too liberal and need to return to the center to win in 2012. Bayh blames the losses in Congress on Democratic overreach in many areas. He believes that Democrats paid too much attention to health care, but should have focused on economic growth and creating jobs. According to Bayh, the Democrats were too deferential to their liberal base, which hurt their chances among the moderate and conservative voters. Democrats spent time dealing with gays in the military, immigration reform, and the Bush tax cuts, which are not issues that motivate moderate voters. Bayh recommends that the Democrats take a more centrist approach in the next two years. He believes Democrats should focus on economic growth as their primary goal and try to evade their stereotype as "taxers and spenders". According to Bayh, Democrats should reduce corporate taxes, ban earmarks, freeze federal hiring and pay increases, and reform entitlements. Adopting these policies would allow the Democrats to take the center of the American political debate and force the Republicans into an extremist position.

However, there are many on the left who disagree with Bayh and argue that the Democrats should have pursued a more progressive agenda. Mark Weisbrot, the Co-Director of the Center for Economic and Social Policy Research, argues that the Democrats erred in not passing a larger stimulus. The CBO estimates that the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act saved between 1.4 million and 3.3 million jobs by the middle of 2010. Weisbrot claims that a much larger stimulus was needed and that such a stimulus would would have lowered unemployment and helped the Democrats in the election. Karen Dolan, a fellow at the Institute for Policy Studies, states that liberal Democrats were more successful in the last election, noting that Blue Dog Democrats lost more seats in Congress than did Progressives. The Blue Dog Caucus in the House decreased from 54 to 26 members, while the House Progressive Caucus decreased from 78 to 75. If the Democrats had been guilty of overreach, then why did the most liberal Democrats win their elections? If the American people wanted Democrats who valued economic growth and fiscal discipline above all else, then why did the Blue Dogs lose so many seats? Norman Solomon, a co-chair of the Healthcare NOT Warfare campaign, writes that contrary to Bayh's claim, the Democrats actually suffered from a "tragedy of under-reaching". Solomon argues that the Obama administration has undermined itself by not following progressive policies. The administration, along with many Democrats, have accommodated wars, wavered on Bush tax cuts, allowed high unemployment, not stopped foreclosures, and permitted environmental destruction. These policies, writes Solomon, have empowered the Right and weakened the Democratic Party.

Advocates of divergent political philosophies have disparate views on what the Democratic party should do, but what do public opinion polls have to say about public support for various policies? Polls performed by CNN, the New York Times, Quinnipac University, and the Atlantic Review all show that the majority of voters favor many policies that are labeled "liberal" in the current political landscape. Here are a sample of some polls.

Health Care
72% of Americans supported a public health care option in 2009 (link)

Gays in the Military
72% of Americans favor gays and lesbians to openly serve in the military (link)

Budget Deficit
69% think preventing cuts in Medicaid is more important than reducing the deficit (link)
79% think preventing cuts in Medicare is more important than reducing deficit (link)
78% think preventing cuts in Social Security is more important than reducing deficit (link)
61% think preventing cuts in unemployment aid is more important than reducing deficit (link)
43% think the Bush tax cuts should continue for families who make <$250k (link)
35% think the tax cuts should continue for all

Foreign Wars
58% of voters said in 2007 that "it is a dangerous illusion to believe America is superior to other nations; we should not be attempting to reshape other nations in light of our values." (link)
50% say that the US should not be involved in Afghanistan vs. 44% who say the country should be involved (link)

These polls show that a large majority of Americans were in favor of a public health care option during the debate in Congress and are currently in favor of gays serving openly in the military. These are two issues on which Republicans have attacked President Obama for being too liberal. Additionally, media pundits have argued that the budget deficit is an important issue, with Republicans supporting entitlement cuts and tax cuts and Obama proposing the expiration of the Bush tax cuts for individuals who make over $250k. According to Evan Bayh, entitlement reform should be a large priority for the administration, but these polls show that approximately 4 out of 5 Americans believe that preventing cuts in Social Security and Medicare are more important than reducing the deficit. Similarly, large majorities of Americans do not want to cut Medicaid or unemployment aid to balance the budget. However, most Americans would rather let tax cuts expire for families who make under $250k than let the tax cuts expire for everyone. In terms of foreign wars, most Americans are to the left of the Obama administration and many Democrats. The majority of Americans do not favor nation-building nor forcing our values onto other nations. Furthermore, half of Americans do not want the country to be involved in Afghanistan, despite the Obama administration's escalation of the war. When the American public is polled on a variety of other issues such as defense spending and foreign aid, they do not follow a uniformly liberal platform. However, the polls above show quite clearly that when dealing with the budget, health care, and foreign wars, there is widespread support for many liberal policies.

Another survey by behavioral scientists Daniel Ariely and Michael Norton shows that most Americans, regardless of political affiliation, share similar ideas on wealth distribution. The survey asks the following questions:

1) What percentage of US wealth is owned by the bottom 40% of the population?
2) What percentage should the bottom 40% own, in an ideal version of U.S. society?
3) What percentage is owned by the top 20%?
4) What percentage should the top 20% own?

In this survey, wealth is defined as "all property of value, from cash to art to stocks and bonds to homes, minus debts". Try to do the quiz yourself to see what you think. Here are the respondents' estimates, the ideals, and the actual numbers.

Wealth Distribution in America
Income Division............Estimate.......Actual........Ideal
Bottom 40%......................10%.............0.3%.......20-25%
Top 20%............................60%.............85%..........36%

According to this survey, Americans prefer a much more egalitarian society, similar to a Scandinavian country, rather than the unequal system currently present in the US. This indicates that the vast majority of Americans may actually prefer "socialist" policies. If the Democrats want to appeal to the most Americans, they should pursue policies that are at least "left-of-center" and perhaps more liberal, and not completely in the supposed center of the American political debate. They should protect entitlements and work to make the US more egalitarian. They should stop waging wars and embrace civil liberties. And if they want to win, they should focus on creating jobs through fiscal stimulus. Furthermore, unlike the last two years, they need to actually execute progressive policies effectively.

The midterm election of 2010 was a result of many factors, the most important being the economy. The effect of the midterm elections on the incumbent party and the unpopularity of the current incumbent party were also factors. Although some moderate Democrats believe that the party should move to the right, polls suggest that many Americans prefer more liberal policies. The second part of this article will examine the effects of the Republican enthusiasm gap, Fox News, and the Citizens United decision on the election.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Message from Credo Action

I got this email from Credo Action today. I thought it was right on the money, so I decided to post it here. Please sign all the petitions with which you agree.

What a truly brutal election. One rare exception was the crushing of Texas Oil's Proposition 23 in California (see CREDO's campaign at stoptexasoil.org), which proves that even unlimited corporate cash can be beaten back — if it is disclosed and fought by grassroots mobilization.

At CREDO, we fight hard on the issues, but we don't take sides in partisan elections. As someone who cares about progressive issues, there is no doubt that Tuesday's results will make for even harder times for our country. It is crazy making to realize just how extreme and misinformed much of the new Congress will be.

There is little reason to expect any useful legislation from the Tea Party-dominated House or the dysfunctional Senate. Swing votes in the Senate have really troublesome names: Lieberman, Nelson, Manchin, and Pryor. In fact, this Congress will do damage to anything even remotely progressive.

So let's take a look at what happened and what we can do now. Bear with us as this is a bit longer than our usual missives. The media, unfortunately but not surprisingly, will be of no use in making sense of Tuesday's results, and even less so in helping chart a course for the future.

There is a lot of evidence that the state of the economy, and employment in particular, drive the results of elections — and this one was no exception. As the saying goes, "If you think the economy is working, ask someone who isn't." We have an economy stuck in a deep ditch, with corporate profits and bank bonuses soaring while long-term unemployment is at near Depression levels.

The Republicans shrunk the first "stimulus" package and filled it with tax breaks, even as corporate Democrats helped them along, blocking any effort to restructure mortgages in bankruptcies, freeze foreclosures or force banks to lend money. The election outcome was partially baked in early 2009, when the White House preemptively conceded on the scale and provisions of the stimulus package and chose to coddle the banks. To watch this unfold was simply maddening.

Making matters worse were other factors. Among the most damaging were the actions of the conservative majority on the Supreme Court, which seemed energized by the new President, and took the radical step of rehearing a campaign finance case — now known forever as Citizens United. In ruling 5-4 that corporations have the right to spend unlimited amounts of money for and against candidates, the Court transformed the electoral landscape in a way potentially more profound than its 5-4 ruling that seated George W. Bush as president. As many predicted, the Citizens United ruling unleashed the greatest wave of corporate spending in history, though it's a safe bet to say that their spending in 2012 will make this year's outlay look modest.

In an astonishing turn of events, the right wing was able to kill — essentially murder in public view — the organization that registered millions of poor and working class African-American and Hispanic voters in the last six years. I am speaking of ACORN, of course. By editing video completely out of context, and using the right-wing media machine to perfection, Andrew Breitbart was able to convince the mainstream media and eventually Congress, that ACORN was an election-stealing organization that had no qualms giving advice to pimps on how to increase revenues. Fulfilling Karl Rove's wildest dreams, Congress, including most Democrats, voted to block public funding for any of ACORN's laudable and effective housing or tax assistance programs, and ACORN died a quiet death. There would be no millions of new registrants.

Traditions are important in the Senate, but almost always to the detriment of progressive change. The health care reform effort was a victim of Senate conventions. Sen. Max Baucus of Montana, who chairs the critical Senate Finance Committee solely due to his long tenure, stalled development of a health reform package for many months in order to "negotiate" with Republicans on his committee. They weren't interested in the least, and walked away from the discussions muttering bizarre comments about reforms "killing grandma" and setting up "death panels," because Sarah Palin says so. The behavior of Baucus would be laughable if it were not so utterly destructive.

No matter what one thought of FOX News in the 2008 election, Murdoch's monster went on a rampage over the past two years. Serving as both an instigator and an amplifier for the craziest and most offensive pundits, FOX News misled and misinformed the American people on every issue, and effectively became the public face of the Republican Party. Glenn Beck's show became so toxic and spewed so much venom that one of his devoted fans took it upon himself to plot the execution of key leaders of the Tides Foundation and the ACLU, who had figured prominently in Beck's rants. Fortunately, the madman (the fan, not Beck) was stopped before he accomplished his mission.

We could go on, of course, on all the missed opportunities, the cave-ins, the sell outs, and the unpopular and misguided war in Afghanistan.

But the results are in. The House of Representatives is in the hands of the most corrupt Speaker-in-waiting ever, the Tea Party is ascendant, and the U.S. Senate, however dysfunctional it has been, is poised to be much worse.

For those of us who had hopes that the Obama Administration could seize the moment and enact popular progressive changes, this is a bitter pill. And like many, we grieve at the lost opportunities.

But now we need to brush off the dust, suck it up, and plunge back into substantive fights. Politics is not fair — indeed, U.S. elections are rigged in profound ways! But walking away is not an option at CREDO Action, and we hope you will join us in some of the actions below we think are strategic in the new political landscape:

1. Commit to Taking Down FOX News. So long as FOX News has any credibility within the Beltway, it will be a pipeline for malicious material that will poison our political culture. Join our friends at Color of Change: turnofffox.org/landing?credo.

2.Tell the Senate to pass the DISCLOSE Act during the lame duck session. We were able to defeat the Texas Oil Initiative, Prop 23 in California, in part because we knew who the enemy was — having disclosure of corporate contributions brings the enemy out in the open for us to take on and fight. The DISCLOSE Act passed the House and came within a single vote of passing the Senate. One vote. You can join this fight by taking action with Public Citizen at citizen.org/disclose-act-action.

3. Keep fighting to end the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. This issue will get resolved during the lame duck session. Take action at act.credoaction.com/campaign/bushtaxcuts.

4. Sign up for the fight for a constitutional amendment to reverse the Citizens United decision by declaring that corporations do not have the legal rights of humans. This may take years, if not decades, but we should start now. Please join Free Speech for People: freespeechforpeople.org/.

5. Tell the FCC to use its existing authority to establish and defend net neutrality. Our friends at Free Press are leading this charge: act2.freepress.net/sign/put_up/.

6. Demand that the Department of Justice and the Internal Revenue Service investigate the political organizations set up by Karl Rove to launder millions of dollars in secret cash to change the outcome of elections. Act now at act.credoaction.com/campaign/investigate_crossroads.

7. Defend the EPA from castration by pro-coal interests in Congress. The EPA accomplished almost nothing during the Clinton years because the Gingrich-led Congress used the budget process to prohibit the agency from doing its work. This battle has already started. The Sierra Club's Beyond Coal campaign is a great way to join this fight: sierraclub.org/coal.

8. Convince the Obama administration to stop appealing progressive court rulings on matters like the Defense of Marriage Act, Don't Ask Don't Tell, and the state secrets defense against torture and wiretapping. Urge the Department of Justice to change its approach at act.credoaction.com/campaign/stop_appealing.

9. Urge Democratic senators to do away with lifetime tenure for committee chairs and open up all chair positions to majority vote elections. This will go a long way towards more progressive legislation. Take action with us at act.credoaction.com/campaign/end_seniority_system.

10. Demand that the Department of Justice enforce the provisions of the national voter registration law that require state governments to offer to register all voters at departments of public welfare and motor vehicles. Many state governments simply ignore these requirements and this is a cheaper and more inclusive way of registering voters than the campaigns of the now dead ACORN. Urge Attorney General Eric Holder to expand voter registration: credoaction.com/campaign/enforce_motor_voter.

I suspect you are angry and exhausted at this point. I know I am. But let us not forget that the values and ideals we fight for are greater than any one election. They still endure, and so must our fight. We have a lot of work to do.

Michael Kieschnick, CEO
CREDO Action from Working Assets



Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Blue's House of Trolling - Week One


One of my favorite pastimes on the ol' intertubes is partaking in the time-honored tradition of trolling really stupid shit. Since Skynet has been so neglected of late, I have decided to take you all along for the ride, much like those trips you used to take in the back of your mother's station wagon while she "delivered Avon." Or was that just me?

Anyways... I intend to scrounge up and share some of my most horrible internet finds with all four of our regular Skynet readers on a somewhat weekly basis.

I invite you all to troll the ever-loving crap out of these, if you are so inclined. Stress is a serious factor in many chronic health conditions, and what better way to relieve stress than making a 13 year old girl cry from four states away?

My fellow Skynet writers will not be surprised by my first presentation. We have been laughing and trolling this dipshit for months. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

The Republican Revolutionary

It appears that The Republican Revolutionary's purpose is to re-post stories from other conservative blogs and news sources, but with the added twist of horrible grammar and butchered spelling. To make this site even more awesome, the author has included links to several YouTube videos of himself wearing funny hats and reading rants from a cue card that sound like they were written by Sean Hannity's fatter, slower brother.

For example, from his latest post: "We cast obvious, plane truth to the wind, and we have the gull to wounder why the wrong thing did not work out for US."

I can not make it through that sentence without scrounging around for a red pen.

Haiku About Roommates

Who ate my cookies?
The dryer runs at midnight.
Fuck this fucking shit.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Awesome Rant from Bill Maher

From the Sept 25th episode of "Real Time":

New Rule: The next rich person who publicly complains about being vilified by the Obama administration must be publicly vilified by the Obama administration. It's so hard for one person to tell another person what constitutes being "rich", or what tax rate is "too much." But I've done some math that indicates that, considering the hole this country is in, if you are earning more than a million dollars a year and are complaining about a 3.6% tax increase, then you are by definition a greedy asshole.

And let's be clear: that's 3.6% only on income above 250 grand -- your first 250, that's still on the house. Now, this week we got some horrible news: that one in seven Americans are now living below the poverty line. But I want to point you to an American who is truly suffering: Ben Stein. You know Ben Stein, the guy who got rich because when he talks it sounds so boring it's actually funny. He had a game show on Comedy Central, does eye drop commercials, doesn't believe in evolution? Yeah, that asshole. I kid Ben -- so, the other day Ben wrote an article about his struggle. His struggle as a wealthy person facing the prospect of a slightly higher marginal tax rate. Specifically, Ben said that when he was finished paying taxes and his agents, he was left with only 35 cents for every dollar he earned. Which is shocking, Ben Stein has an agent? I didn't know Broadway Danny Rose was still working.

Ben whines in his article about how he's worked for every dollar he has -- if by work you mean saying the word "Bueller" in a movie 25 years ago. Which doesn't bother me in the slightest, it's just that at a time when people in America are desperate and you're raking in the bucks promoting some sleazy Free Credit Score dot-com... maybe you shouldn't be asking us for sympathy. Instead, you should be down on your knees thanking God and/or Ronald Reagan that you were lucky enough to be born in a country where a useless schmuck who contributes absolutely nothing to society can somehow manage to find himself in the top marginal tax bracket.

And you're welcome to come on the show anytime.

Now I can hear you out there saying, "Come on Bill, don't be so hard on Ben Stein, he does a lot of voiceover work, and that's hard work." Ok, it's true, Ben is hardly the only rich person these days crying like a baby who's fallen off his bouncy seat. Last week Mayor Bloomberg of New York complained that all his wealthy friends are very upset with mean ol' President Poopy-Pants: He said they all say the same thing: "I knew I was going to have to pay more taxes. But I didn't expect to be vilified." Poor billionaires -- they just can't catch a break.

First off, far from being vilified, we bailed you out -- you mean we were supposed to give you all that money and kiss your ass, too? That's Hollywood you're thinking of. FDR, he knew how to vilify; this guy, not so much. And second, you should have been vilified -- because you're the vill-ains! I'm sure a lot of you are very nice people. And I'm sure a lot of you are jerks. In other words, you're people. But you are the villains. Who do you think outsourced all the jobs, destroyed the unions, and replaced workers with desperate immigrants and teenagers in China. Joe the Plumber?

And right now, while we run trillion dollar deficits, Republicans are holding America hostage to the cause of preserving the Bush tax cuts that benefit the wealthiest 1% of people, many of them dead. They say that we need to keep taxes on the rich low because they're the job creators. They're not. They're much more likely to save money through mergers and outsourcing and cheap immigrant labor, and pass the unemployment along to you.

Americans think rich people must be brilliant; no -- just ruthless. Meg Whitman is running for Governor out here, and her claim to fame is, she started e-Bay. Yes, Meg tapped into the Zeitgeist, the zeitgeist being the desperate need of millions of Americans to scrape a few dollars together by selling the useless crap in their garage. What is e-Bay but a big cyber lawn sale that you can visit without putting your clothes on?

Another of my favorites, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said, "I don't know where they're going to get all this money, because we're running out of rich people in this country." Actually, we have more billionaires here in the U.S. than all the other countries in the top ten combined, and their wealth grew 27% in the last year. Did yours? Truth is, there are only two things that the United States is not running out of: Rich people and bullshit. Here's the truth: When you raise taxes slightly on the wealthy, it obviously doesn't destroy the economy -- we know this, because we just did it -- remember the '90's? It wasn't that long ago. You were probably listening to grunge music, or dabbling in witchcraft. Clinton moved the top marginal rate from 36 to 39% -- and far from tanking, the economy did so well he had time to get his dick washed.

Even 39% isn't high by historical standards. Under Eisenhower, the top tax rate was 91%. Under Nixon, it was 70%. Obama just wants to kick it back to 39 -- just three more points for the very rich. Not back to 91, or 70. Three points. And they go insane. Steve Forbes said that Obama, quote "believes from his inner core that people... above a certain income have more than they should have and that many probably have gotten it from ill-gotten ways." Which they have. Steve Forbes, of course, came by his fortune honestly: he inherited it from his gay egg-collecting, Elizabeth Taylor fag-hagging father, who inherited it from his father. Of course then they moan about the inheritance tax, how the government took 55% percent when Daddy died -- which means you still got 45% for doing nothing more than starting out life as your father's pecker-snot.

We don't hate rich people, but have a little humility about how you got it and stop complaining. Maybe the worst whiner of all: Stephen Schwarzman, #69 on Forbes' list of richest Americans, compared Obama's tax hike to "when Hitler invaded Poland in 1939." Wow. If Obama were Hitler, Mr. Schwarzman, I think your tax rate would be the least of your worries. 

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Machete is a Masterpiece

Robert Rodriguez' latest work, the faux trailer turned feature film, Machete, is absurd over-the-top film making at its finest.

The shockingly 66 year old Danny Trejo plays Machete, a former Federale who lost his family to a drug lord (played corpulently by Steven Seagal)now just trying to get by in the US. He catches the eye of a sleazebag named Booth who hires him to shoot racist anti-immigrant state senator Robert DeNiro, who spends his leisure time shooting migrants with his Minuteman-like buddy Don Johnson. Where it goes from there, you'll just have to watch and see. Suffice it to say you'll eventually see Cheech Marin as a priest, Michelle Rodriguez as a guerilla leader, and Lindsay Lohan as a nun. Oh yes, a nun.

If it sounds ridiculous, it is. Its supposed to be. In the spirit of Planet Terror, Rodriguez uses an action movie to skewer every moronic action flick ever made. The result is, as I said, pure brilliance. There isn't a serious moment in the entire movie. There's a hint here and there of some social commentary about the anti-immigrant fervor that periodically grips White America might not be tongue in cheek, but when it ultimately results in someone standing on a car and yelling "We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us!" you know its all an elaborate joke.

My only worry is that not everyone will get it. The theater I was in seemed to be an equal mix of constant laughter from some of us and utter confusion from others. It would be a shame if this film is not recognized for how awesome it is.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sparklecados: Day 197

I'm very sad to report Sparklecado #1 did not survive the transition from Twilight cup to actual planter. Much like lame ass Bella, it apparently had no interest in living without limp dicked Edward.


Sparklecados #3 and #4 are still alive in their respective cups. One of these god damned things had better live. I've invested too much time.

Friday, September 3, 2010

I Have Had Enough of Insipid Lap-Band Adverts


It is difficult for me to pin down what exactly bothers me so much about these billboards that now dot the California freeways with more frequency than any other advertisement I can recall. It isn't that I have no reason, but rather that I have a myriad of them. So I present to you my ramblings about why these things need to be torched to the ground.

Billboards Suck. I understand that they are on private property, and that legally that property can be used to rent out advertising space, but I really detest seeing a huge ugly thing on my skyline where I would prefer mountains.

The Lap-band Sucks. I know it is considered incredibly insensitive to say that weight loss surgery is lame. It is very judgmental to believe that those who choose surgery over self-discipline to be weak and brainwashed sheep. I guess I am incredibly insensitive and judgmental.

Allow me to clarify. Weight-loss surgery is an excellent resource and an incredible procedure for people who possess a medical need for it. The 500 lbs person who can no longer walk is not about to exercise those pounds away. The older person with rampant diabetes and heart disease MUST lose weight quickly to add years to their lifespan. I am completely in favor of this procedure being available to these people. I am even in favor of insurance companies covering the surgery in these extreme cases. The problem lies in the fact that many of these surgeries are conducted on people who are perfectly capable of losing weight the normal way.

The adverts are also misleading, implying that the lap-band is a quick and easy fix. In actuality, it is painful and will force you to eat protein supplements and weird textures for the rest of your life. I will say this for the lap-band, wikipedia reports that only 1 in 2000 patients who get the band die from it. Gastric bypass has a mortality rate of 1 in 250.

There are Too Damn Many of Them! I counted 17 of these signs on my drive to Governor X's place and back. This is a 45 mile drive.

The Company Behind Them is Shady. TopSurgeons has some really questionable business practices and is run by two doctors who have lost their licenses, as revealed by the LA Times. That's really a company I want to put my medical well-being and life into the hands of.

Taking Advantage of Illness to Make Money is Morally Reprehensible. I am not talking about weight when I say illness; I am talking about mental illness, such as low self-esteem and eating disorders. Surgery appeals to people because it seems easy and takes the brunt of the responsibility for their condition off their own shoulders. It does not cure the underlying causes of their obesity. Many people who get the surgery gain their weight back after several years. These individuals need real healing, therapy to help them regain control of themselves and their lives. The last thing they need is for someone to cut on their body until it is as mutilated and scarred as their psyche.

Medical Procedures and Medications Should be Recommended by a Doctor, Not an Advert. I have a real problem with the advertising of any medical procedures or medications. People should not be hearing about a pill or operation and then checking to see if they need it. When a patient has a condition, then they and their physician work to treat that condition. This approach of advertising medication as though it were a new brand of clothing has led us to become a nation of legally-prescribed drug addicts.

Good Health is More Than Weight. Good health comes from eating a balanced diet and exercising, not from being forced to starve yourself by having a bit of plastic tied around your insides. It isn't the weight of Americans that are making them sick, but the lifestyle choices they have made that got them fat in the first place.

Suck It. If you have gotten surgery yourself that was not medically necessary, I'm sorry you were duped. Before I get flamed by anyone, I would like to note that I am no pixie myself. But I have dropped more than 20% of my body weight in the last 9 months by eating well and moving my ass. It helps to have some nancy-boys around to slam tennis balls at.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Sparklecados: Day 181

Just a brief update today. Sparklecado #4: A New Hope has begun.



Saturday, August 21, 2010

Sparklecados: Day 179

There have been some exciting developments on the Sparklecado front. Our stalwart, Sparklecado #1 had developed a small stem and the beginnings of some tiny leaves, so it was time to kick it out of the nest and move it into a home of its own. Today, just shy of six months after our experiment began, it was transferred from the Twilight cup to its permanent home in a terra cotta pot. It still hasn't sparkled, but it still may some day. Sparklecado #3, started just 34 days ago has shown significant growth. I expect to transfer it to soil far sooner than Sparklecado #1. There is yet another pit drying on my counter as I type this, and in a couple days, it will become Sparklecado #4: A New Hope.

Sparklecado #1, quite ready to face the world on its own without the help of the insipid Cullens.

Sparklecado #3 is thus far easily outpacing its predecessors.

Sparklecado #1 is barely visible in its new home for the moment, but it will soon grown into a mighty tree. Sparklecado #3, with something to prove, sits in the shadow of its gas-giant of an older brother.

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