I Have Had Enough of Insipid Lap-Band Adverts

It is difficult for me to pin down what exactly bothers me so much about these billboards that now dot the California freeways with more frequency than any other advertisement I can recall. It isn't that I have no reason, but rather that I have a myriad of them. So I present to you my ramblings about why these things need to be torched to the ground.

Billboards Suck. I understand that they are on private property, and that legally that property can be used to rent out advertising space, but I really detest seeing a huge ugly thing on my skyline where I would prefer mountains.

The Lap-band Sucks. I know it is considered incredibly insensitive to say that weight loss surgery is lame. It is very judgmental to believe that those who choose surgery over self-discipline to be weak and brainwashed sheep. I guess I am incredibly insensitive and judgmental.

Allow me to clarify. Weight-loss surgery is an excellent resource and an incredible procedure for people who possess a medical need for it. The 500 lbs person who can no longer walk is not about to exercise those pounds away. The older person with rampant diabetes and heart disease MUST lose weight quickly to add years to their lifespan. I am completely in favor of this procedure being available to these people. I am even in favor of insurance companies covering the surgery in these extreme cases. The problem lies in the fact that many of these surgeries are conducted on people who are perfectly capable of losing weight the normal way.

The adverts are also misleading, implying that the lap-band is a quick and easy fix. In actuality, it is painful and will force you to eat protein supplements and weird textures for the rest of your life. I will say this for the lap-band, wikipedia reports that only 1 in 2000 patients who get the band die from it. Gastric bypass has a mortality rate of 1 in 250.

There are Too Damn Many of Them! I counted 17 of these signs on my drive to Governor X's place and back. This is a 45 mile drive.

The Company Behind Them is Shady. TopSurgeons has some really questionable business practices and is run by two doctors who have lost their licenses, as revealed by the LA Times. That's really a company I want to put my medical well-being and life into the hands of.

Taking Advantage of Illness to Make Money is Morally Reprehensible. I am not talking about weight when I say illness; I am talking about mental illness, such as low self-esteem and eating disorders. Surgery appeals to people because it seems easy and takes the brunt of the responsibility for their condition off their own shoulders. It does not cure the underlying causes of their obesity. Many people who get the surgery gain their weight back after several years. These individuals need real healing, therapy to help them regain control of themselves and their lives. The last thing they need is for someone to cut on their body until it is as mutilated and scarred as their psyche.

Medical Procedures and Medications Should be Recommended by a Doctor, Not an Advert. I have a real problem with the advertising of any medical procedures or medications. People should not be hearing about a pill or operation and then checking to see if they need it. When a patient has a condition, then they and their physician work to treat that condition. This approach of advertising medication as though it were a new brand of clothing has led us to become a nation of legally-prescribed drug addicts.

Good Health is More Than Weight. Good health comes from eating a balanced diet and exercising, not from being forced to starve yourself by having a bit of plastic tied around your insides. It isn't the weight of Americans that are making them sick, but the lifestyle choices they have made that got them fat in the first place.

Suck It. If you have gotten surgery yourself that was not medically necessary, I'm sorry you were duped. Before I get flamed by anyone, I would like to note that I am no pixie myself. But I have dropped more than 20% of my body weight in the last 9 months by eating well and moving my ass. It helps to have some nancy-boys around to slam tennis balls at.