American Idol Update: Week 12

The end is nigh. Perhaps there is a god afterall!*

And then there were three. While continuing the spiral into the black hole of sucktitude, Idol actually managed to surprise tonight. Kris didn't go home. Allison and her "I'm 17 but sound like a 60 year old who has smoked two packs a day for a few decades" voice was sent packing, leaving Idol a sausagefest for the last three weeks. Calm down Adam and Ryan.

Of course, we all know Adam has already won this thing, but the question has always been who would be the runner up. Can Gokey really ride his dead wife into 2nd place? Would that disgrace the hallowed ground where Justin Gaurini once stood? I hope not and no. I have no love for Hal Spar-, er, I mean Kris and his insufferable guitar, but Gokey has been on my shit list from day one. The man sucks. If he was here right now, I'd spit in his eye and call him a lying Paki dog. He wouldn't get it though. Fuckin' Pakis.

*No. There isn't.