Skynet: California: Governor X's Top Movies of 2009

2009 was a hit and miss year at the theater. For once I'm glad I'm not an Oscar voter because while I liked a lot of the movies that came out, I wouldn't really put any of them on par with masterpieces like No Country for Old Men or Slumdog Millionaire. That said, there were certainly enough entertaining offerings this year to cobble together a top 15:

15. Bruno
Bruno isn't nearly as funny as Borat, but it still got a few laughs out of me. Perhaps more importantly, it outraged all the right people. Check out the deleted interview with the neo-nazi leader on the DVD.

14. Jennifer's Body
I'm not sure Jennifer's Body should be on a list of good movies, since I can't really say it was good, but I enjoyed it. Just meditate on the plot for a minute: Megan Fox plays the hot girl at Devil's Kettle High School who is turned into a flesh eating succubus in a botched sacrifice attempt by Seth Cohen of The OC. I would also like to thank this movie for introducing me to the phrase "freaktarded".

13. Sin Nombre
Sin Nombre tells the story of how the lives of a Central American immigrant and an MS13 gang member intersect in Mexico. The movie's real power is in showing the heartbreaking conditions people seeking to enter the United States are subjected to. Bigots and Minute Men needn't waste their time.

12. Sherlock Holmes
This looked weird and I'm not a big fan of Robert Downey Jr. I realize he's a bit of a coke head in real life, but he doesn't always have to act coked up on the big screen. Holmes is riddled with plot holes and has a ridiculous story line, but it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable film. Look for Sherlock Holmes 2 if it does well (and maybe even if it doesn't) since they've clearly set up a sequel.

11. Rudo y Cursi
I'm a huge fan of Mexican soccer and I can easily say this is the best film about Mexican soccer I've ever seen. Its also the only one I've seen, but that isn't the point. This story about the rise and fall of two brothers is engaging and funny enough to forgive the predictable ending. All sports movies are fairly predictable though since there are only two outcomes: the hero can win or lose the big game.

10. Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Activity was what 99.9% of horror movies aren't: scary. Love it or hate it, everyone agrees that Micah is a huge douche who got what was coming to him.

9. Star Trek
I was nervous when I heard they were "rebooting" the Star Trek franchise. The original series characters have been around for 40+ years, so this had the potential to be a disaster. I'm pleased to say not only wasn't it a disaster, its a fantastic Star Trek movie. The people in charge of casting did a great job picking actors who could convey the essence of the character without doing a Shatner or Nimoy impression. Uhura has never looked better.

8. Taken
Taken is a classic revenge movie with Liam Neeson taking on the Charles Bronson role. His daughter is kidnapped in Paris and he sets out to find her and make the kidnappers pay. Man do they pay...

7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Wolverine isn't the most interesting X-Men character but his origin story made for a solid installment in the series. I actually like him quite a bit more now. I really hope we see an X-Men Origins: Magneto someday.

6. Angels & Demons
Dan Brown isn't a particularly good writer. I knew exactly where The DaVinci Code was going about an hour and a half before it finally went there. He manages to redeem himself somewhat with Angels & Demons. There isn't much substance here, but like some of the other movies on this list I can't discount pure entertainment. Ewan McGregor as a priest will give Catholic girls (and some boys) impure thoughts for years to come.

5. The Road
The Road is good in that it stays mostly true to the book. Of course, that means its two of the most depressing hours you'll ever spend at the movies. Don't be surprised if Viggo Mortensen gets an Oscar nomination for his role as "The Man".

4. District 9
District 9 is one of the most unique sci-fi movies out there. The aliens have come to earth, but they're ill and their broken spaceship takes residence over Johannesburg. The South Africans take them in, but cluster them in a ghetto. Nice of them eh? The film is action packed and actually allows the viewer to form a real emotional connection with the hideous aliens nicknamed "prawns".

3. (500) Days of Summer
One of these little indie movies comes out every year and catches fire with critics and audiences. (500) Days of Summer is even better than some of the others in recent years like Juno and Little Miss Sunshine. Every man can relate to Tom who falls in love with Summer because we've all known that bitch in real life.

2. Avatar
This movie is actually depressing people because they can't be Na'vi and live on Pandora. I liked it and wouldn't mind being tall, perpetually fit, and able to commune with nature like the Na'vi, but it really is just a movie. Its also an incredible technical achievement though, which is good because there are enough clichés in here to fill the Grand Canyon. As I write this, Avatar has made $1.4 billion dollars worldwide.

1. Knowing
Knowing is the movie Nic Cage has been working toward his entire career. Cage plays Dr. John Koestler, an MIT Astrophysics professor, single dad, and atheist whose son comes into possession of a paper covered in numbers written by a crazy girl fifty years earlier and placed in a time capsule at the local elementary school. Upon closer inspection, Koestler notices the numbers correspond to a series of disasters during that fifty year time frame. It may sound a bit over the top, but the Cage man brings it home.