Adios Kurt

Future Hall of Fame quarterback and bible aficionado Kurt Warner retired today, devastating Arizona Cardinals fans everywhere. Before we talk about the suddenly bleak future of the Cards, a quick look back at Kurt's career (the short short version).

Kurt came out of a grocery store in Iowa to resurrect the Rams, winning two MVP awards and leading the long suffering franchise to a Superbowl victory. The Rams opted to throw him away shortly thereafter to go with Mark Bulger (how'd that work out for you?), so he went to New York, where in spite of not playing poorly, somehow lost his job to the less douchey Manning, Eli.

From there, Kurt would turn to the bible and emulate his hero Moses by wandering around the desert for a few years (I think it was Moses - I don't follow hockey). Fortunately for long suffering Arizona Cardinals fans, he wandered right into University of Phoenix Stadium and took the starting job away from party boy Fatty Natty Ice Leinart. With the best receiving corps in the game, Kurt again led a historically awful franchise to the Superbowl, coming within a pact-with-the-devil good catch by Santonio Holmes of winning. Kurt led the team to another NFC West victory this year and won the most amazing playoff game ever 51-45 over the Packers before the total lack of defense caught up with them. Today he walked away from the game with 2 MVP awards (and a couple MVP worthy seasons), a Superbowl victory, and the top 3 Superbowl passing performances of all time.

Now...the Cardinals. Lets just take Leinart as the starter off the table now please. He's proven he's awful, sailing passes, throwing picks, and generally playing so poorly in mop up duty the team often had to put Warner back in. Get him out of here. Send him to Seattle before Pete Carroll realizes he sucks.

The Cardinals need to set their sights on beleaguered Philly QB Donovan McNabb. McNabb already lives in Arizona and has put up amazing numbers throughout the years without more than one quality receiver at a time. Bring him to Arizona and let him throw up MVP numbers slinging the ball to Fitzgerald, Boldin, and Breaston. Look, Philly is populated by assholes. They're never going to appreciate what McNabb has done for that city. Cardinals fans have a taste of winning now and we like it. Donovan is our best bet to continue the team's winning ways.