American Idol Update: Week 9

Sup Rasta...its Idol time again. Tuesday, 4/20/2010. The theme writes itself, but does Idol go with it? No, of course not. Instead of hearing the work of Bob Marley, Grateful Dead and other classic bands, its "inspirational song" night? Really? Fail. I'm going to guess I won't be inspired to do anything but change the channel.

One thing I can get behind tonight is Alicia Keys (lulz! sex pun!). She's the mentor, suggesting ways the contestants can been one of the hottest women around or something. She sings OK too.

Casey James - Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop. Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign theme song. See? This site is educational. Who knows when you may be in a game of Trivial Pursuit with a crazy kidnapper who has given you the option of beating him at the game or losing your life. You draw a card...What was the theme of the 1992 Clinton/Gore campaign? Score! You're alive! I liked Casey's performance, so naturally the judges hated it.

Lee Dewyze - He's singing "The Boxer". No clue what it is, but I'm sure its boring and he'll sing it poorly. We need to see a lot less of this guy and a lot more Alicia Keys. THESE STREETS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BRAND NEW, BIG LIGHTS WILL INSPIRE YOU! See? It even says "inspire" in the lyrics. Empire State of Mind > this garbage Lee is singing.

Tim Urban - I don't know what this song is either. I'm inspired to go to the other room and get a snack. Sashimi. Yes, sashimi for a snack.

Aaron Kelly - LOL at this kid. Who is voting for him? Simon said if he heard this performance in the car, he would have turned it off within ten seconds - but then said Aaron made it quite good. What?

Siobhan Magnus - Oh man, you're killing me! I'm starting to fear she's peaked. I don't know if the season can survive that. Hopefully she comes back with something that isn't coma inducing next week. Kara wants to hang out with her, but doesn't know who she is! At least Paula was high as a kite when nonsense like that spilled out of her mouth.

Michael Lynche - I'm really tired of this guy. Its a damn shame they wasted their save on him a few weeks ago. He's comically awful tonight.

Crystal Bowersox - Speaking of tiresome contestants, Treasure Trail annoys me more and more every week. She's crying? Wow. I mean, it sucked and everything, but its nothing to cry over.