The Worst Morning Show Ever

Fox News Channel sucks. We're all well aware of this, but one show in particular drags the channel even lower than you thought was possible. The tricky part is, its on too f-ing early in most of the country to be on your radar. During breakfast service, my hotel's dining room TV is tuned to Fox & Friends.

I can now tell you without hesitation that Fox & Friends is the worst morning show ever, and quite possibly the worst thing ever to hit the television airwaves.

Hosts Steve Douchey, Brian Kill-Me, and Gretchen "not in the face, that's how I makes my livins" Carlson will make you want to commit sepuku with the little plastic knife they give you at breakfast.

As far as I can tell, the show's sole purpose for existing is to latch on to the most inane and asinine attacks on President Obama and run with them for hours at a time. Yesterday morning, they had a real think piece on laughter in the press room. You see, people are laughing more at Robert Gibbs' jokes than they did at Bush's Press Secretary Dana Perino's. For the Fox & Friends crowd, this is a clear case of media bias. They're laughing at Gibbs' jokes because they like Obama! Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, because I'm not a paranoid right winger who sees media bias and the boogey man under my bed at night.

A few days ago, the worst show ever did a segment on the worst blog ever: a blog written in the character of Obama's teleprompter. The President uses a teleprompter when speaking in public? Teh horror! He should speak off the cuff like President Bush did. That worked out so well. Seriously, if you find the fact that the President uses a teleprompter amusing or controversial in any way, go fuck yourself and please don't breed.

I'm sure if I watch long enough, I'd see a segment on the birth certificate, whether or not the first lady is showing too much skin (not possible for a fox like Michelle Obama), or some well thought out mockery of the President and his wife having date night.

I won't be watching though. After the laughter/media bias fucktardery yesterday I've vowed to take my meals in another room.