Random Television Rant

I have always had my qualms about television. There are plenty of shows I enjoy, in and of themselves, but something about the box itself has disturbed me for years. It has taken a lot of time and thought to put my finger on precisely what it is about television that gives me such a strong aversion.

It devours the soul, and I quite like mine.

Every one of us is a consumer, and when making purchases, it is almost completely unavoidable that we purchase certain popular items out of convenience or affordability. But have you ever stopped everything and tried to mentally step outside of society and just watch? Millions of people, wearing the exact same clothes in varying hues, spouting "opinions" that almost perfectly match their favorite television host verbatim, buying the same useless empty bullshit because their lives are incomplete without it. Large groups of people get the same tattoo, dye their hair the same outlandish colour, and wear the same "edgy" wardrobe in an attempt to be different; even our attempts to be unique seem to follow a special set of guidelines. Folks will push the envelope, but only as far as society has told them they can. Empty, meaningless, soulless bullshit, the whole lot of it.

Now don't get me wrong, people have ALWAYS been mindless sheep, social animals who thrive on group thought. Television, however, has replaced true socialization for most people, and therein lies the danger. Instead of interacting with and learning from their friends, families, and neighbors, people are increasingly allowing media to tell them what they need to be happy. I am willing to bet there are many people out there who could tell you all of the details of the cast from Friends, but couldn't even tell you the first names of the interesting people who have been living across the street from them for four years.

No matter how much you love your favorite shows, the fact is that television exists for no other purpose than to make you buy things. Even the evening news is designed, not to inform you, but to keep you watching as long as possible while they shove more and more advertisements in front of you. "Poison in your child's food? Stay tuned to hear about the secret danger that can kill your family right after this word from our sponsor." It does not matter which show you are watching. Both O'Reilly and Olbermann viewers buy the same toothpaste, car insurance, and male enhancement pills. This constant influx of information is not only intended to inform you that a product is available, but to make you feel inadequate without said product.

"Oh, shit, I'm not on a yacht surrounded by hot chicks, I need to buy some Budweiser."

Now, not many of us actually, consciously think that way, though it can be argued that the message DOES eventually get drilled into our subconscious minds. Many people are able to filter out a large part of what they see and hear in ads. Where the media makes its real money is in the most vulnerable among us: children, elderly, and dumbasses.

Children are a no-brainer. They lack the knowledge and understanding of the world to filter bullshit from fact. If you tell a small child that he will be the coolest kid in the neighborhood once he has a Spongebob Super Soaker, he will be hell-bent on acquiring that super soaker with all of his persistent will. Nine times out of ten, the parent will eventually shut him up by buying him the item as a reward or gift. Television becomes dangerous for children when we step into the realm of food advertising. As the waistlines of children grow and their general health reduces, they are still bombarded with fast food, candy, and "healthy-like" foods that are actually rubbish. (Few people read the labels on granola bars or fruit snacks, assuming they must be healthy. They are not.) How is this any different than marketing cigarettes with cartoon characters? I am not one to call for government regulation of advertisements; that would be the antithesis of a free market, but as a parent I am making the choice to expose my children to as little of that nonsense as possible and put it in context for them when it cannot reasonably be avoided.

The poor elderly. They are the best victims of fraud. Religious phonies, Nigerian inheritance schemes, and wonder pills get the most marks from the elderly population. Television is no exception. Seniors seem to make many choices because of fear. The world has changed dramatically in their lifetime, and they no longer understand as much of what is going on as they once did. They are weaker, sicker, and often less lucid. This makes their wallets perfect targets. T.V. preys upon their fears and insecurities to sell products. If that isn't sick, I don't know what is.

Then, of course, there are the dumbasses. We all know several. These are the people who cannot function throughout the day without the television blaring in the background. Where I work, the television is always on. I have tried turning it off when nobody is actively watching it, and a staff member will almost immediately pop up from another room, looking puzzled and bewildered, and turn the goddamn thing back on. Why? They aren't watching it. They can barely hear it from where they are. These are the individuals who see commercials for random products, look thoughtfully at you, and say, "I need that." If "Ow, My Balls" were a real show, these are the folks who would be tuning in to watch it. Actually, I think that WAS a show once, but they called it "America's Funniest Home Videos."

I think my greatest fear about television is the way it enables the loss of so much potential. People do not spend enough time getting to know themselves. So many of them use no outlet for personal expression. They surround themselves with the same homogeneous Ikea decor and simply walk through life doing what they think is expected of them. As cynical as I may seem, I really think people could do some awesome things if they would just go outside and try doing something instead of watching it.