American Idol Update: Hollywood Week

The auditions are over and American Idol 2010 is ready to begin...except its not. Its Hollywood Week, where they cull the herd even further before the competition actually starts. Additionally, they debuted Ellen as a judge. She's tolerable when she isn't attempting her "comedy" but I have a feeling as this crummy crop of contestants begin to make the show drag, she'll be forced to try out more and more schtick to help salvage the show.

The contestants so far do not look promising. The only particularly good performance tonight was a fat guy playing Paula Abdul's Straight Up on acoustic guitar. The notion was cringe worthy, but it was pretty good. Most of the show was just contestant after contestant trying way too hard to win the weekly karaoke contest down at B. J. O'Taints.

I can already tell who this year's Gokey is going to be. For those of you who aren't familiar with the reference, Gokey was the turd sandwich that inexplicably garnered nothing but praise from the judges last year. There's one every year. This time, its going to be this 16 year old girl who sings dreadful modern country in the wrong key. I think her name was Haley. She's turrrrible.

Skynet out!