American Idol Update: Week 2 (Part 2)

There's no way to get around it...the guys were an abomination last night. Every single one of them was a complete disaster from beginning to end. The good news for the ladies is that they can't possibly be worse - I hope.

More Idol means more Roy Lichtenstein. I'm going to culture you bastards yet. I feel this work is appropriate since the guys stunk up the joint last night.

Crystal Bowersox - Her visit to the hospital to have her kidney harvested for the Beijing market yesterday caused the girls to be bumped to tonight. She's very earthy, and not in an attractive way like some hippie chicks are. She looks like a man hating bra burner to me.

Haeley Vaughn - BTW, that's not a typo. That insipid "e" is part of her name. What the hell is wrong with parents these days? "Oh, I'll give my kid a normal name, but spell it weird - this is my son Raughburt." F YOU. I hope these kids put their parents in a bad home.

Lacey Brown - If you're wondering about how the music is tonight, I'll say something about it as soon as there is something positive to say. The Danish really aren't enjoying all this negativity lately. In the meantime, I've been downloading more pop art for the coming weeks. More Lichtenstein, some Hockney, Rauschenberg, and even though its overdone, mayhaps some Warhol. Could the American Idol Update morph into a modern art class? Its possible. Remember, Skynet: California used to be a political blog.

Katie Stevens - Is anyone else digging the Swedish pop music in the Radio Shack commercials? I love it. I downloaded one of the ringtones from their facebook page.

Didi Benami - Why are dining tables so expensive? I recently moved and now I need a dining table - you know, four legs and a flat board. Good luck finding one under $300. And if you want chairs? Oh, those are extra. Really, who wants a table and chairs? You aren't fooling anyone furniture companies. I will make my own table before I pay those outrageous prices.

Michelle Delamor - Yay, I can talk about the music! This gal's version of With Arms Wide Open isn't too awful. That's how low the bar is now. Anything that doesn't make me want to puke is OK.

Lilly Scott - Blue Napkins just said this girl looks like an ugly version of Kelly Osbourne. Yes.

Katelyn Epperly - If this was 1985, she'd be cute, but its not so she isn't. Yeah, there are a lot of comments on looks tonight. The feminist hoards are just going to have to deal with it. She's singing the one Coldplay song I like, The Scientist. The video for the song is awesome. Its the aftermath of a car accident in reverse.

Paige Miles - Uh oh. Two tolerable performances in a row. This is close to being good. Too pitchy in parts as the Dawg would say though. Still, probably the best of the night so far.

Siobhan Magnus - I liked her performance last week a lot and she just revealed she had a mohawk a few years ago. She is singing well enough again, but skinny white girls from Boston shouldn't be singing Aretha Franklin. Still, she's impressive and I think she'll be around awhile.

Thank you ladies. After a pretty rough start, you really closed strong and renewed my faith in televised karaoke competitions.