American Idol Update Week 3: Part 2 (also Introduction to Modern Art 205)

Welcome back. No intro tonight, I'm too tired. Lets jump right into the art and Idol.

Tonight's featured Magritte work is La Durée Poignardée, oil on canvas 1938. This clearly represents a train coming out of a fireplace. Probably something about sex too. This work is frequently called Time Transfixed, but Magritte hated that. The title literally translates to Ongoing Time Stabbed by a Dagger. Now that's a name. The guys are positively horrid this year, so that sex train is the highlight of the night.

Lee Dewyze - Negative comments are allowed tonight. First up, think of Scott Stapp doing a Death Cab song and you might be close to this abomination. After you think of that, run to the bathroom so you don't throw up on the sofa.

Alex Lambert - Awful performance of an awful song. Ellen loves it, so she called him a mushy banana. This is the third week in a row she's gone off on a banana tangent. If I didn't know she was gay, I'd think there was something dirty afoot.

Tim Urban - Hallelujah! The song that is. The man who wrote the song, Leonard Cohen, has asked for a moratorium on the song because its so overdone now. I agree. k. d. lang's performance at the Vancouver opening ceremony should have been the last one.

Andrew Garcia - A fat guy singing Genie in a Bottle would be funny on karaoke night. Its just fucking sad on national TV. Go away!

Casey James - Magritte's explanation of La Durée Poignardée: "I decided to paint the image of a locomotive . . . In order for its mystery to be evoked, another immediately familiar image without mystery — the image of a dining room fireplace — was joined."

Aaron Kelly - Yay mute button!

Todrick Hall - How is this guy still around? I think he's nailed down the West Hollywood vote. Tonight he abuses a perfectly innocent Queen song. You aren't Freddie Mercury, so don't even try. RIP Freddie.

Michael Lynche - I don't have enough wine to make this tolerable, so back to the mute button. Its a shame too. This is the one guy with any potential at all. Fail.

Well, I liked telling you some more about Rene Magritte. We'll move on to a new artist next week. I'm thinking David Hockney, but that could change. Remember to hand in your papers by noon on Monday.