Seven More Ways to be an Annoying Roommate.

I'm going to build on Boots' previous post with a few experiences of my own. I don't know if these would bother everyone, but they are from personal experience and certainly annoyed the ever-loving fuck out of me.

1. Contract an infectious disease, like scabies. Walk around pulling your shirt up and scratching your sores. Deny any accusations of illness. Use your roommate's towels and put them back in the linen closet.

2. Steal and use your roommate's tampons. When she mentions it, tell her it's not your fault that tampons are so expensive and point out that she makes more money than you do.

3. Have a child. Pay no attention to said child and refuse to allow anyone to correct his/her wrongdoings.

4. Get drunk. Puke in your roommate's underwear drawer.

5. Eat nothing but pizza and leave the boxes all over the kitchen. When your roommate asks you to please take them to the trash, build a fort out of them on the porch and fall asleep in it stoned. Wake up and move to the roof to sleep some more. Use your roommate's car to reach the roof, rather than a ladder, and scratch the paint. Puke on the roof and make sure some drizzles down onto your car-ladder.

6. Drink your roommate's juice. When you realize she may notice how much is missing, add water to the bottle to cover your tracks.

7. Invite several party-folk over while your roommate is at work. Allow them to write on the walls with sharpies and put all the Tupperware in the oven at 400 degrees.

Six of these things happened across the span of three months and were committed by the same person. It takes dedication and perseverance to be THAT excellent.