Conservative Media Show True Colors

In case you didn't know about Shirley Sherrod, here's a segment by Rachel Maddow about this reprehensible scandal. Andrew Breitbart showed a clip from a speech USDA employee Shirley Sherrod gave which claimed to show that she had denied a white farmer benefits because of his race. What Breitbart didn't mention is that the speech was about overcoming racism, she made the speech in 1986, she wasn't working for the USDA at that time and she didn't actually discriminate against anyone. CNN later interviewed the white farmer that Sherrod supposedly discriminated against, and he had nothing but good things to say about her. The point of Sherrod's speech was that she had an epiphany. She realized that poor people are suffering, regardless of race. However, without doing any research, Fox News paraded the story as an outrage, an example of black discrimination. Sherrod was quickly railroaded out of her position at the USDA, bowing to public pressure. She was denounced by the NAACP and forced to resign by Tom Vilsack.

After the story aired, she received hate mail and phone calls from people calling her a "bitch" and a "racist". This is particularly sad, because, as Media Matters reported, Sherrod's father was killed by racists in 1965. She has been actively involved in the Civil Rights movement for years and took careers at non-profit organizations and within the government because of her commitment to issues of social justice and civil rights. Sherrod said that she has thick skin after years of working in the Civil Rights movement. However, nobody should have to go through that kind of abuse because of a completely fabricated, politically motivated smear campaign.

This story touches on more than a few issues. First of all, conservative media purveyors like Breitbart and Fox News have very few scruples about running fake stories designed to highlight their issues and destroy innocent people's careers. Look at the ACORN non-story. For those of you who still don't know, the ACORN employees on tape were playing along with the phony pimp and prostitute in order to get as much information from them as they could before calling the police. The video showed ACORN employees shining on James O'Keefe, nothing more.

Second, notice that conservatives target minorities in these scandals. The ACORN employees were black and Latino and Shirley Sherrod is black. Does Fox ever go after white racism? Not that I've seen.

Third, notice that Breitbart's fake story continues the theme of the "oppressed white man". Conservatives have drummed up fear in white people by convincing them they are under siege by minorities, even though in reality, whites still hold the vast majority of wealth, political power and corporate power in our society. Despite the claims that Republicans are not racist or even partial to whites, this story clearly shows that Fox and the Republicans intervene on behalf of white people, even in fake scandals like this. That is whose side they're on, over and above notions of equality and fairness. Conservatives will claim over and over again that they aren't racist, but their words and actions show otherwise. Anyone who has talked with a conservative for more than a few hours knows that they tend to hold uninformed positions about race. Many conservatives will openly say that they don't like minorities or that they think white people are superior, either genetically or culturally. Others will just be ignorant of racial issues to the point of being insensitive, and will blame blacks for their poverty, instead of pointing to years of slavery, discrimination, and wrongful imprisonment that continue to this very day. Republicans claim that we now live in a color blind society, so blacks and Latinos need to stop being so lazy and get to work. This couldn't be further from the truth and doesn't take into account discrimination that still occurs.

Fourth, the main reason conservative media outlets run stories like this is to distract poor white people from their truly injurious policies such as trying to destroy Social Security, giving few limitations and punishments to corporate executives, dismantling labor standards and destroying the environment. Republicans have been doing this for years. It's called the Southern Strategy. Reagan used this strategy by launching his campaign supporting "states' rights" in Philadelphia, Mississippi, the site where three Civil Rights activists were murdered in 1964. Reagan also repeatedly told the story of a "welfare queen" who never existed. The result of this strategy is the winnowing of the middle class, the largest prison population in the world, consolidation of corporate power into fewer hands, and the destruction of labor unions. White people need to wake up and realize that minorities are not a threat to them; big, powerful and unbridled corporations are. Republican leaders gain the support of poor whites for policies that are against their interests by playing to their fears. This is a truly cynical, diabolical and harmful policy.

Lastly, this should be a lesson to Democrats, particularly the Obama administration. When a conservatively biased news source like Fox News or www.biggovernment.com comes up with a controversy like Van Jones, ACORN or Shirley Sherrod, don't assume they are right or that they are even being sincere. Take the time to investigate the story and deliberate for a while before disavowing one of your people. People like Andrew Breitbart and Glenn Beck should not factor into your decisions. They are not reliable, not fair, and not even adults.

Sparklecados: Day 145

It has been quite some time since I updated you on the progress of our Sparklecados, but in the last couple days there have been some interesting developments.

First, after nearly six months with no progress, I pulled the plug on Sparklecado #2 which had been languishing in a persistent vegitative state. It couldn't even muster the energy to star at a brightly colored balloon. Here is the last known photo of the Sparklecado before it passed into the next life (in this case, my kitchen trash can):



Sparklecado #1 is flourishing nicely. The root is quite long and there are the beginnings of a stem. Its almost ready to move on to step two, which I can't remember the details of at the moment, but I bookmarked it. Here is #1:



Finally, since I can't stop eating avocados, it just so happened I had another pit ready to go after pulling the plug on Sprarklecado #2. It is an organic California avocado, slightly smaller than its Mexican brother in the other cup, but we will see how it goes:

Whitey McWhite Wants All You Minorities to Get Out of His Face

Dennis Prager, a voice of the far right on talk radio, wrote this column today. Blue Napkins sent the article to me in an email, and I found it to be really ridiculous.

I thought Dennis Prager was a moron, and this really confirms it. Dennis Prager lives in a fantasy world where his illegitimate right-wing notions are true. He wants us to pretend that none of our social problems exist and that everything is hunky-dory. He also wants us to ignore the fact that being white, male, Christian and heterosexual has historically and still does grant many privileges. Furthermore, he wants us to pretend that identifying yourself with an ethnic group or sexual orientation is narcissism but identifying yourself with your country is selflessness. In Prager's commandments, he wants to define a school that restricts freedom, recognizes nothing but the State and ignores all of the problems that exist in our society.

In his first commandment, Prager seems to be troubled by narcissism, so logically he's going to ban any group affiliations and focus on the individual: "The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity." That totally makes sense... This is along the lines of Arizona's law banning ethnic studies programs. What this amounts to is enhancing the white majority's ability to oppress minorities by not allowing them to organize or even identify with each other. The only affiliation of which Prager approves is with the country, an artificial boundary maintained by force that has been won through the genocide of Native Americans and theft from Mexico. I guess debate about the validity of the nation-state just muddies the waters though.

In his second commandment, Prager calls for a "formal dress code", which I assume means school uniforms. School uniforms are fucking horrible and stifle freedom of expression. Do we want school to be even more like the military? Dennis Prager's totalitarian school doesn't allow any other freedoms like making a club or identifying yourself as anything other than an American, so I suppose the freedom to dress however you want is not honored either.

In his fourth commandment, Prager forbids the use of "obscene language". I assume he's talking about words like shit and cocksucker, basically George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words. We don't want children to speak these "bad" words in school because these words presumably erode moral character and later in life, people will use them indiscriminately as adults. Of course Prager then precedes to brazenly drop an n-bomb and write the word "bitch". For some reason he couldn't bring himself to write "fuck" though. This paragraph alone shows what an ass he is. I personally find the n-word more offensive than any of George Carlin's words. Furthermore, I'd like to declare that Skynet promotes the use of the word "fuck" in all spheres of life but does not approve of the n-word.

Now that I think about it, I almost always have to choke back my own vomit when I read his Dennis Prager's shtick. This article is no exception, and I think it's safe to hang a label on him. Don't worry Dennis, I won't label you according to race, religion, or sexual orientation. Dennis Prager, on behalf of Skynet California, I hereby declare you to be an asshole.

Things That Suck: Human Billboards

If you are as easily annoyed as I am, you have no doubt had to choke down bile as you pass new housing development, wireless stores, and going-out-of-business sales and see these idiotic human billboards on the corner. I'm not sure what genius came up with the idea of having an illiterate drug addict standing on a corner dancing whilst holding a sign for a new housing development, but I want to punch them in the face repeatedly. What kind of an idiot do these ads work on? The type of loser who would have to work doing this sure, but they can't afford a new home, or probably even 50% Adam Sandler DVDs at a closing Hollywood Video. If I ever run for a city council position, I will run on a platform of banning these stupid things once and for all.

The trouble with kids these days (a haiku)

Kids. Can't shut them up,
Can't tie them to the sofa
Can't sell them online.

Seven More Ways to be an Annoying Roommate.

I'm going to build on Boots' previous post with a few experiences of my own. I don't know if these would bother everyone, but they are from personal experience and certainly annoyed the ever-loving fuck out of me.

1. Contract an infectious disease, like scabies. Walk around pulling your shirt up and scratching your sores. Deny any accusations of illness. Use your roommate's towels and put them back in the linen closet.

2. Steal and use your roommate's tampons. When she mentions it, tell her it's not your fault that tampons are so expensive and point out that she makes more money than you do.

3. Have a child. Pay no attention to said child and refuse to allow anyone to correct his/her wrongdoings.

4. Get drunk. Puke in your roommate's underwear drawer.

5. Eat nothing but pizza and leave the boxes all over the kitchen. When your roommate asks you to please take them to the trash, build a fort out of them on the porch and fall asleep in it stoned. Wake up and move to the roof to sleep some more. Use your roommate's car to reach the roof, rather than a ladder, and scratch the paint. Puke on the roof and make sure some drizzles down onto your car-ladder.

6. Drink your roommate's juice. When you realize she may notice how much is missing, add water to the bottle to cover your tracks.

7. Invite several party-folk over while your roommate is at work. Allow them to write on the walls with sharpies and put all the Tupperware in the oven at 400 degrees.

Six of these things happened across the span of three months and were committed by the same person. It takes dedication and perseverance to be THAT excellent.

7 Top Ways to be a super annoying roommate.

Got roommates? Don’t like ‘em? Here are some tried and true techniques for driving normal roomies completely batty.

1. Follow your roommates around and talk incessantly, especially if they look busy. Take care to avoid any pauses that might allow them to get a word in edgewise.  If they do manage to excuse themselves from the conversation, tail them to the door of their bedrooms and make them close it in your face to escape. Proceed to #2.

2. Wait 5 minutes after tailing them to the bedroom, then ask for a legitimate thing you could have addressed in the first place, like rent or bills.

3. Play iPhone games in the bathroom, especially in living situations with 2 or more people per bathroom. Shoot for a minimum of 30 minutes occupying the john, 45 if your roomies start to get antsy. For extra points, leave the bathroom door open and do not turn on the fan.

4. Go in your roommates’ private living areas and take whatever you want. Use it, screw it up, and leave it out somewhere that tells your roomie exactly who raided his stuff. Then, see #5.

5. Cause obvious disturbances in the residence, then lie your ass off about having done it. If your roommate has sorted something into piles, stack them all together and mix them up. Eat their food from the fridge and save yours for later. If there were witnesses to your transgressions, make up more elaborate and unlikely coverup stories.

6. Don’t do laundry. Ever. When you run out of skivvies, buy new socks and underwear and pile dirties in your bedroom. When the bedroom becomes unliveable due to the festering pile, take over the living room couch. Invite homeless friends with contagious skin diseases to join you.

7. Make promises you fully intend to break. Do this often.

I hope these special tips and tricks for irritating otherwise patient roommates will guide you in achieving your destined future, which will be well-laden with sincerely deserved solitude.

Diapers and Grocery Bags? How About Greening Your Girly-bits?

More green, reusable products hit the market every day, and that is certainly a promising trend. It is especially noticeable here in California, where even the snotty "soccer moms" in their gas guzzlers are piling their teams' Gatorade and chips into canvas totes. Biodegradable dish soaps and laundry detergent are becoming more widely available as demand for them increases. The most hardcore of the green movement are buying biodegradable, chlorine-free diapers. Some are even purchasing cloth diapers. (I must note, however, that while cloth diapers are more cost efficient and seem green on the surface, the soap and water used laundering them makes virtually no less of an environmental impact than disposables.)

Almost every food item is now being offered in an organic version. We buy toilet paper and bank checks made from recycled paper. The world of casual disposal is coming to an end. One product, however, seems immune to criticism: feminine hygiene products. Whether this is out of fear of the wrath of bleeding, grumpy women or from sheer squeamishness, very few people seem willing to take aim at this wasteful product and its vast contribution to gorging landfills.

I believe the environmental impact of feminine hygiene products may also be ignored because it is generally off the radar. Many people purchase reusable grocery bags and the like because other people can see them. Nobody knows what is going on under your skirt, so there is little societal pressure to make greener choices. Several products are available that will greatly reduce, if not virtually eradicate, the environmental impact of menstruation. Until I began researching this topic, I had never even heard of some of them.

The typical feminine hygiene products are pads or tampons. Pads are, obviously, much larger and use more materials. Both products come in cardboard boxes. Each individual item inside the box is wrapped in a plastic liner. The tampons usually come with an "applicator." When all is said and done, there is a ton of unnecessary packaging that must be discarded in addition to the product itself. This, in and of itself, could be easily reduced. As a matter of fact, some companies seem to use the excess packaging as a selling point, offering it in various colors and making the applicators more elaborate. In the past, I have been a fan of the O.B. brand, which uses minimal packaging and is applicator free. Out of all the obvious choices, it is the one with the least environmental impact.

My research uncovered a myriad of other choices, some of which appear cleaner than tampons, not linked to T.S.S., and almost completely without waste. The Diva Cup is reusable for up to a year. There are also washable sponge tampons, chlorine free biodegradable pads and tampons, and the usual washable cloth pads from days of yore. Of all these products, the reusable cup seems to be the most sensible and sanitary, and some of the silicon versions claim to last as long as ten years.

I would love to see someone high profile actually have the balls to start pushing these greener products. If I were the first lady, I would be all over this, if for no other reason than to make Republican legislators squirm.

Guess Who's Back!

Old Sugar Tits is back friends! You honestly have no idea how great this makes me feel. I feed off of Mel Gibson's insanity like a Sith feeds off of anger.

This time Mel takes a break from blaming the Jews or offending the indigenous peoples of Mesoamerica to take care of a little home cooking. It seems he may have fathered a child with his ex, Oksana Grigorieva and he's none too pleased. He also doesn't care for her manner of dress. Here are the highlights from the HuffPo story:

"You're an embarrassment to me. You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault."

"How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice."

"I am going to come and burn the f**king house down... but you will blow me first."

And to close it all out, this parting shot...

"This is my last message. I might be the father... Well, f** you... You psycho c**t... Because I don't care. Do you understand me? I'm done."

Oh man, I hope you're never done Mel. How do the Jews tie into this? I have to know! Review of Edge of Darkness to follow shortly...

Eclipse: A Tale of Sappy Outdoor Conversations

I was torn in two over paying to see the third installment in the movie version of this abortion of a book series. On the one hand, I did not want to be another 30-something woman pumping money into this ridiculous franchise on opening night. On the other hand, I was full of curiosity, a desire to write a review, a love of being ironic, and a need to seek revenge on my four-year-old for making me endure both Toy Story 3 and Shrek 3 in the same month. I was bored, the matinee was cheap, and the latter decision won out. With preschooler in hand, I joined the throng of women queuing up for Twilight 3: The Return of Jacob's Pecs.

Not only did my son almost die of boredom during this movie, he also managed to get a Buzz Lightyear spinning candy dispenser caught in his hair. We are now even.

The movie started off with a relatively suspenseful scene of some poor schmuck being turned into a vampire minion by our main antagonist, Victoria, then ended with an epic battle between the Forks Supernatural Protagonist Society and the evil army of vampires Victoria and her minion form. Everything that happened between those two scenes was either mind-numbingly dull or embarrassingly painful.

First of all, Bella is still torn between Jacob and Edward. Does she want the whiny douche-bag with the golden eyes, tons of money, and the ability to offer her immortality? Does she want the pushy but hot Native American boy who needs anger management and might accidentally rip her face off if she burns the casserole? Decisions, decisions...

The dialogue, as before, is very wooden and phony. Think Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones. Everyone is madly in love with everyone else, and they all talk about it outside for the hour and forty-five minutes they had to fill between battle scenes. Bella and Edward talk about their feelings in a field full of flowers. Then she and Jacob talk about their feelings at a lake in the mountains. Then they talk about it some more on a snow-dappled cliff in the mountains. Then she and Edward talk about some more random shit in a field again. It was like the worst dialogue scene from Attack of the Clones had glitter added to it and increased in length tenfold.

To add insult to injury, I still have to admit this movie was much better than both of its predecessors.

I think the best summary was what my son said about a half hour from the conclusion of the film: "Can we go home now? All these people do is talk and kiss and be stupid." Amen.