American Idol Update: Week 13

American Idol is down to three singers, and they are doing their usual final three show. Each contestant is singing two songs, one chosen by them, one chosen by a judge. The judges always pick god-awful songs. (Simon choosing "Over the Rainbow" for Katharine McPhee, anyone?)

Casey chose "OK, It's Alright With Me" by Eric Hutchinson. This kind of music suits his voice well, unfortunately I can't stand it. The judges are tearing him to pieces for his song choice.

Last week Randy's idiotic banter drove me to discuss proper music terminology. I thought I would continue along this vein by discussing different types of instruments. Now that the Idol contestants are encouraged to play as well as sing, this knowledge has become applicable.

Most contestants play different variations of the guitar. The guitar is a string instrument. Music is created by vibrating strings of different lengths or tensions. String instruments include violin, harp, lute and ukulele.

Crystal Bowersox has chosen "Come to My Window" by Melissa Ethridge. I enjoy me some Melissa. This might be okay if she can avoid screaming. One thing that bothers me about Crystal is hard for me to admit. It's her teeth. I'm not a big fan of phony beauty standards, and I don't think she needs caps or anything, but they are quite brown. A little whitening, especially when you are a singer and your mouth is so visible, might convey a better image. Crystal did not scream. Most of the judges didn't like it, but I actually did. Simon liked it too.

The simplest kind of musical instrument is percussion. Percussion instruments consist of anything that gets banged on, such as drums, cymbals, your mom or even maracas. Fun fact: the piano is considered both a string and a percussion instrument. When you press the keys of a piano, the strings inside are struck by hammers. The piano is very confused.

Lee DeWyze has chosen "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. This has potential, but it's falling flat, literally. He sounds nasally and off key. Of course Randy loved it. That man wouldn't know pitch if it were a fork and chasing him from the village.

Woodwind instruments make sound when wind is blown over an angled edge or through a reed or two. Most were traditionally made of wood, but have more recently been constructed of metal or plastic. The woodwind family includes the flute, clarinet, bagpipes, and saxophone.

Randy and Kara chose John Mayer's "Daughters" for Casey. His voice is suited for this song. I would say this is the first performance by him that seems professional. I suppose he could have a break from being my cabana boy if he promises to sound that good. Kara just told Casey he has a "hard time showing his vulnerable side." Simon almost fell over laughing.

Brass instruments are of course trumpets, french horns, and the like. Brass instruments produce sound through a combination of the vibration of the player's lips and the vibration of air resonating through a tube. Different notes are created by different lengths of tubing. The tube length is changed by opening and closing different valves or by lengthening and collapsing the tube by sliding it.

Ellen chose Crystal's next song, "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. Oh man, I love this song. She's all over the place with her pitch and she's screaming again. I appreciate that she didn't change the gender references in the lyrics. I can't stand it when singers do that. Sing the song as it's written, you homophobes!

A subclass of brass instruments is low-brass. These are brass instruments that play in a much lower octave, such as tuba, trombone, and baritone.

Simon chose the gospel song "Hallelujah" for Lee. This song is more than a little campy. He's putting a great deal of emotion into it, which almost makes up for the fact his voice sounds like he has a harelip. Aww, he looks like he's about to cry as the song concludes. Now I feel a little guilty.

My prediction? Casey is going the way of the dodo.